


Famous Last Words //Frerard//

by Edgy_mcMCR



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gay, M/M, MCR, mychem, mychemicalromance - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2019-09-22 09:47:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 35,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17057513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edgy_mcMCR/pseuds/Edgy_mcMCR
Summary: The moment Frank turns 16, words burn themselves into his forearms. They are the first words that his soulmate will ever say to him. It's something that happens to everyone on their 16th birthday, andmost people just have something sweet or simple, like 'Hey there' or 'Are you okay?' for one and 'I love you' for the other. Frank was blessed by the universe with 'Fuck you' written in elegant cursive on both arms. Little does he know, those two words, and the mysterious boy that just so happens to be meeting him at every turn will change the course of the fate he thought he once knew.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There's a Tumblr blog mentioned in Chapter 5 and it is a real blog! It's @geeway0409 and it's open for viewing and interacting with! It isn't necessary to the story but it helps it along

“Mr. Iero? Hello?” The calculus teacher taunted, snapping his fingers at the high schooler. Frank looked up from his forearm and rolled down his sleeves, covering the blank space that resided there.

“Sorry, Mr. Williams.” He mumbled, rolling his eyes. Frank’s eyes flickered around the room as he heard whispers and chatting all around. A few girls, who always sat together in this class and undoubtedly everywhere else, were comparing the words that recently formed on their arms. It was for this reason that Frank was examining his arms as well. On everyone’s sixteenth birthday, words appear on their forearms, being the first and last sentence that their soulmate will speak to them. Many teens have fallen in love with others, despite the words they were given, because it can be too difficult to discover their soulmate. There was a sentence on each arm, written in different fonts, styles and sizes. The only problem is, no one knows which is the first sentence and which is the last. A person could randomly have said the same words as on one arm, but their last words to you may not be the same. Hence the reason why most people didn’t even bother anymore.

Frank Iero was guilty of being one of those people. He went around kissing guys left and right as well as dating them. He didn’t participate in other activities, being under the age of consent, but he didn’t plan on abstaining from them long now that he was reaching legal age.  He didn’t even have any words yet, so it didn’t matter anyway. Tapping his fingers on the sand colored desk with his left hand while tugging on the front of his shirt with his right. His shirt was too tight, and it gave away his…. disposition. No one needed to know he had tits under there. Well, as far as anyone else knew, he was a biological male. Unfortunately, if you asked the students at Woodenstock high, they would tell you a different story.

Clearing his throat, he looked to his left where that fuckin’ weirdo always sat. He wasn’t here today, of course. Frank had only noticed because there were no aggressive scribbling noises coming from his left side. But alas, Frank had jumped too quickly to conclusions. In strolled the infamous Gerard Way, beat-up trench coat, guyliner and all. The slighter older emo teenager plopped down in his desk before shoving his phone in his pocket aggressively.

“Late again, Mr. Way.” The teacher pointed out, halting the lesson to call the later arriver out on his mistake. Gerard mumbled something inaudible before opening his math notebook and jotting down a few things with his left hand. Gerard was ambidextrous, unlike most, so he frequently changed writing hands. This confused the fuck out of Frank. He had never said a word to Gerard before, so majority of things about Gerard confused the fuck out of Frank.

And now, for a short character analysis on Gerard.

Gerard Way is a sixteen-year-old who is also in Frank’s grade level. He moved here around a year ago, so not much is known about him. His hobbies seem to be drawing aggressively, threatening people with knives, breaking things (including people’s noses), wearing guyliner and heavy black eyeshadow, and just being an all-around creepy fuck. Many people spread rumors about him, challenged him to fights or even tried to talk to him, but he never seemed to care. He always said something suspicious and made the challenger run off every time. The last guy who tried to stand up to Gerard never made it back alive. Or so Frank heard. But still, it was fucking scary.

Anyway, back to the story.

The teacher continued with the lesson while Frank’s eyes settled on what Gerard was doing. It seemed the emo’s favorite pastime was sketching in his notebook as loud as possible. No one really knew what he was drawing. That was because had ever seen inside of it, but there sure as hell were rumors. Some people said he drew gory, gross shit to satisfy his lust for blood. Others said he drew porn and sold it online for money. Frank didn’t know what to believe about it, but it sure as hell must be important if Gerard kept it that well-hidden. Noticing that Frank was staring, Gerard slammed his notebook shut and swept his long, black hair out of his eyes.

“What the fuck are you staring at?” He asked in a hostile, terrifying tone. Frank visibly shrank a little, intimidated by Gerard. Luckily, that’s exactly what Gerard was going for. A smirk spread across the creep’s face, making Frank even more on edge. Regaining his confidence, Frank rolled his eyes and went back to being his cocky dickhead of a self. Gerard sighed at his failure to make a lasting impact on the other and continued drawing.

Unbeknownst to Frank, his arm would start to feel like it was on fire in three, two-

He hissed very loudly in pain, banging his fists on the desk. The rest of the class didn’t seem to notice, but Gerard clearly did.

“Enjoy,” Was all the emo said as words seared themselves into Frank’s arms. It felt like someone was pressing a hot poker in his arm and pressing hard, which fucking hurt. Frank didn’t know what that felt like, but he sure knew what cigarette burns felt like and damn, they had nothing on this. Rolling up his sleeves gingerly, he read the words that would reveal his perfect lover for the first time. It hurt like all hell, but Frank was fuckin’ curious. Gerard glanced over, not wanting to be obviously looking, but still wanting to see.

Both of Frank’s arms were inscribed with the words “Fuck you” in a fancy, elegant cursive.

Rubbing his forearms and wincing, he rolled his sleeves back down before sighing. This was going to a long rest of his life.

Gerard threw his notebook in his backpack and walked out of the classroom without even asking, heading towards the bathrooms. He threw the school supply holder in a stall, closely following behind, and locked the stall door. Luckily, his panic attack started then. He had been holding it back all day, which explained the very random start. His breathing sped up a fuck ton, causing him to begin wheezing and coughing. His vision got shaky and tears cascaded down his face. It all happened so fast, he didn’t even know what to do. The feeling that the end was near, which it very possibly was, was fucking overwhelming.

_ ‘Remember, bro. In for four seconds, hold it for seven, out for eight seconds.’  _ The words of Gerard’s younger brother, Mikey, echoed in his head. Gerard followed the phantom instructions, breathing in for four seconds, holding his breath for seven and exhaling for eight. After a few repetitions, his breathing became manageable and he began to gnaw on his jacket sleeve.

Gerard suffered from panic disorder, a result of homophobic parents who yelled too much and bullying. He had a few other issues too, but this was one of the worst ones. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest but chewing on the sleeve at least helped keep him grounded. He looked around the room, remembering his other grounding technique

_ ‘Five things I can see. The floor, the blinky celling light, my shoes, my hair in my face and the window. _

_ Four things I can feel. The insoles of my shoes, the jacket in my mouth, the gentle breeze coming from outside and the warmth of my jacket around me. _

_ Three things I can hear. My own thoughts, some voices outside and the wind _

_ Two things I can smell. Um…. the cologne I used this morning and the laundry detergent _

_ One thing I can taste. The blood from biting my lip.’ _

Suddenly finding himself a hell of a lot calmer, he took a deep, shaky breath before exhaling loudly. That was a close one. If he’d had a full-on mental breakdown, there would probably be a lot of confusion from his other classmates. Gerard had recently moved from California and damn, New Jersey is a lot different from California. He continued to nibble on his sleeve in silence while the empty room seemed to get a little bigger.

Meanwhile, Frank attempted to pay attention in class. Gerard had really startled him, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. He really should be focusing on Calculus, but that weirdo was somehow more interesting. Why had he just storm out of the room?

**_And why was that weirdly hot?_ **

_ ‘No way. No fucking way, Frank. No homo. Wait … I can’t say that. Fuck. No romo, then. No fucking romo. There is no way you’re falling in love, Frank Iero. No way,’ _ Frank thought to himself, looking around the room and sighing. He better just get back to work. That Gerard guy was a creep, even if he was strangely attractive. Maybe that was just the masochist in Frank talking. After all, Gerard did very much look like he could hurt Frank whenever he pleased.

Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.

**BRIIIIIIIIIIIIING**

The school bell sounded, prompting Frank to stand up and walk out of the room as fast as possible. He didn’t want to be there when that freak got back. 

 

“Ay, Iero!” A voice called, grabbing Frank’s attention. Being greeted by his smirking best friend instantly made him feel more at ease.

“Sup, Ray?” He asked, changing the direction he was walking in to match Ray’s.

“Not much, bro. How about you?” Ray returned, winking as some girls as they walked by and causing a few giggles.

“Nothing really. That weirdo Gerard started talking to me today and it was so weird.” At that, Ray put his hand out in front of Frank’s chest to stop him. Looking around, Ray dragged Frank to a little alcove in the hallway with a very serious look on his face.

“Bad idea, bro. He’s a fuckin’ psycho. He breaks people’s bones, fucks his brother and- I’ve heard he has a collection of chains in his room. That’s fucking creepy. Fuck, I’ve even seen him get arrested a few times. Seen it with my own two eyes.” Ray looked fucking concerned, almost like he cared about the well being of Frank. That meant all that had to be true, right? Frank’s eyes widened as he quickly grew pale.

“He,” He swallowed hard. “He really did all of that shit? Like, you’re sure?” Frank’s hands instinctively went to his backpack straps, rolling them in his fingers. He often fidgeted when he was nervous, and this was a clear example of this habit.

“Yeah. I am.” Ray looked around once more before shaking his head, his curls bouncing as he did so. “Just stay away from that faggot.” Ray’s tone suddenly shifted from ominous and terrifying to normal. “See ‘ya after class, bro!” And with that, Ray Toro disappeared into the crowd of miscellaneous high schoolers. Frank was fucking  _ shaking _ and it was very visible. He looked like he’d seen a monster, which he may as well have just. Brushing his shaggy, black-brown hair behind his ear, he stepped out of the alcove and cautiously made his way to the cafeteria. After a warning like that, Frank would absolutely stay away from Gerard. For his own safety, of course.

~

Upon exiting the stall and washing his hands and face, a voice cleared it’s throat behind him. Gerard looked up to see Mikey, his younger brother. Those two were closer than normal, but not in the incest-y way. They simply had each other’s backs, and Mikey knew that Gerard would be here if he was having a panic attack. Mikey was … different, like Gerard. The younger brother enjoyed wearing pastels, specifically pink, which greatly contrasted his brother’s favorite black trench coat. There wasn’t a lot that the two brothers had in common, but they loved each other anyways.

“What was it this time?” Mikey asked, putting a sweater-covered hand to Gerard’s tear stained cheek. He moved Mikey’s hand aside and looked down at the other’s holographic platform boots. Along with those, Mikey wore a pair of pastel blue jeans and a light, very old, pink sweater. Mikey had kept that sweater from all the way back in seventh grade. He hadn’t grown much since then, but it was still a reminder of the two’s old school which was … terrible, to say the least.

“You know they’re going to call you gay if you keep wearing shit like that.” Gerard said with a slight smirk. He said it in such a way that didn’t sound like he was joking, but Mikey knew better. The younger brother smiled and shook his head with a sigh.

“Well, if they didn’t, then all that dick I suck would go to waste.” Gerard punched his younger brother’s shoulder gently before ruffling the pastel gay’s hair.

“I really didn’t need to know that Mikey, but whatever. Let’s just get out of here.” And with that, Gerard picked up his backpack and exited the restroom while Mikey tried his best to keep up. After all, it’s fucking hard to walk in high-heel combat boots. (Yet somehow Gerard made it look easy)


	2. Chapter 2

His nasty mashed potatoes making a disgusting  _ plop _ on his tray, Frank continued through the lunch line with a scowl. He hated the food that the cafeteria provided with a burning passion. Unfortunately, being broke as fuck meant that he had to eat it. He wasn’t very partial to starving himself, so that was out. He tried back when he was an angsty thirteen-year-old, but it only leads to him binge eating more. Now his eating habits were irregular, but he was a healthy weight at least. Once upon a time, he had been around 160 pounds. After he had started starving himself, he dropped to a good 100 or so before it really became apparent to him that what he was doing was wrong. His parents didn’t seem to notice or care, but his friends had grown really concerned as had he. He now settled at a good 140, though a lot of that was from muscle

Frank had been so caught up in remembering this, and unconsciously informing the readers about this, that he hadn’t even noticed where he was going. Or who he was bumping into.

“What the fuck?” The voice growled before him, causing Frank to drop his tray and swallow hard. Gerard Way, the king of shadows himself, was towering over tiny little Frank. (He was only around 5”1, so he was quite short). Frank felt like his heart had practically fallen through the floor. He … just bumped into Gerard. That was  _ not _ good. Not good at all. In a flash, Frank was knocked to the floor. Gerard’s trench coat kicked out a bit as he stormed out of the cafeteria and directly into the men’s room. Everyone started to laugh at Frank, pointing and beckoning their friends to come see the mess before them. A 5”1 boy with the words “Fuck you” inscribed on his arms, lying on the floor while covered in strawberry milk? Hell, even Frank would’ve laughed if it wasn’t him in this situation. But it was, and it was embarrassing. Running out of the cafeteria, Frank made a run for the Women’s restroom before stopping himself.

_ ‘Frank, ‘ya dummy. They don’t know. You don’t have to do that anymore.’ _

Walking into the men’s room instead, he took a deep breath and strolled directly past Gerard at the sink. Starting to wash up at the sink next to the other’s, he tried his best not to make any form of eye contact or even look at the other. Frank avoided Gerard’s eyes as one would avoid Medusa’s. Honestly, Frank didn’t doubt that Gerard’s glare could turn people to stone anyway.

Honestly, Frank wouldn’t mind being turned to stone after all that embarrassment. Sneaking a peak at Gerard in the mirror, Frank’s mouth dropped open a bit. Gerard had wiped a bit of mashed potatoes away from his left eye with a paper towel, taking some of his makeup off along with it.

And just like that, Frank had one of his infamous major-opinion-changes. Gerard really was human under all that makeup and all those evil glares. He sighed and proceeded to take off all the makeup from his left eye, seeing as he had already smudged it. He looked even more human with the makeup completely gone

_ ‘And even more attractive.’ _

_ ‘Wait no-‘ _

“What’re you staring at?” Gerard asked through gritted teeth, glaring at Frank with his new almost calico makeup pattern. Frank let out a little snicker, his asshole act resuming right where it had left off.

“I was going to say, ‘I’m sorry’, but now I really just want to make fun of your awful makeup.” He said, speaking in a teasing manner that made Gerard’s blood boil. The taller teen didn’t often get mad, but today was simply not his day.

“Oh, fuck off.” He spat before producing a makeup compact from his backpack and reapplying his eyeshadow.

_ ‘Wait a minute. What does …’ _

Frank’s eyes drifted down to his arms at the thought, reading the words over again in his head. “Fuck off” and “fuck you” are dangerously close, especially for someone like Gerard saying that. If Gerard was Frank’s soulmate, he swore to god that he would do something done. Honestly, Frank would probably shoot himself if he didn’t value his own life so much. Having an eating disorder kind-of makes you care about your life a little more. Unfortunately, Frank didn’t show any signs of caring about his life anymore.

Gerard noticed Frank’s little gaze and sighed as quietly as possible. This was going to be a loooong rest of his life.

Smirking ever so slightly, Frank sighed and made fake goo-goo eyes at Gerard. “Oh Gee, how you hurt my heart. Why are you so mean to me?” Frank rubbed his eyes in circles, doing the stereotypical mime-crying, and made fake sobbing noises. And with a bang, Frank was pinned against the wall next to the sink, Gerard seething with rage under the unfinished makeup. Frank’s eyes widened, and his act dropped in an instant. He became visibly afraid, his hands struggling to move from their position above his head. Gerard simply smirked and released the smaller classmate, shaking his head and returning to his makeup. All respect Frank had for Gerard vanished into thin air, if there even was any there in the first place. Straightening out his shirt, he noticed his straps were visible and he fussed with his shirt until they vanished under the oversized tee. Rolling his eyes, he to the door of the bathroom and hesitated at the exit.

“Oh Gee!” He mocked, prompting the trench coat-wearing other to turn. Sticking both middle fingers in the air, he pressed his back to the door and exited the restrooms. Gerard sighed and waited until Frank left the bathroom to let the hurt show on his face. Gerard really had been trying to be decent. He had been trying his very best. But when Frank bumped into him, it hurt so badly that he just couldn’t hold in his anger. Why it hurt so much… that’s a story for another time.

Exiting the bathroom swiftly, Gerard spent the rest of the day with his head buried in his book while Frank, on the other hand, spent the entire day worrying about what was to come. He worried so much, in fact, that he went home sick only a few hours later. His mother picked him up around one in the afternoon, all obsessing over him and shit. It was embarrassing for Frank, especially since his mother still called him Faith.

“Faith, sweetheart. Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” She asked, fake sympathy in her voice as she changed the radio station. The car was fairly old, so it didn’t have any voice controls or audio jacks. At least it actually had a radio (so he didn’t have to just sit in silence).

“My name isn’t Faith, mom. My name is Frank.” Frank replied bluntly, rolling his eyes and clutching his stomach. He looked down at his very… un-flat chest, which only made him feel sicker. His mother sighed and shook her head, a clearly stressed look on her face. Being a daycare teacher could be very stressful, so he didn’t blame her for being upset all of the time.

“Faith, please stop with this whole ‘transgender’ thing. It’s really getting on my nerves. I’m fine with letting you cut your hair and dress differently, but you really need to stop telling people that you’re a boy. You aren’t one. You’re my daughter and I love you just the way you are. You don’t have to change, honey. You’re beautiful.” His mother ran a hand down the side of his face, making Frank shudder and shrink a bit. From there he only nodded and put in headphones, attempting to block out the world.

The rest of the ride home was boring, so it mostly slipped Frank’s mind. He bolted upstairs as fast as he could upon reaching his faded-yellow house. Slamming the door behind him, he stripped off all of his clothes as well as his undergarments and stared at himself in the mirror. Everything he hated about himself was still there, now with the edition of two “Fuck you” ‘s. Tears welled up in his eyes and spilled over within a matter of minutes. He hated this. He hated everything about this. He hated Gerard and he hated his mother and most of all, he hated himself. He grabbed the least feminine pair of underwear he had from his dresser and put them on, grabbing a roll of Ace bandages as well. He quickly wrapped the bandages around the masses on his chest, tears rolling down his cheeks the entire time. When it was finished, he looked at himself once again.

There. Much better.


	3. Chapter 3

“Okay, class! You know what’s coming, I’m assuming…. Considering most of you are on your third try of this class.” The teacher, Mrs. Atkinson announced, mumbling the last part. She cleared her throat and continued. “Anywho, for those of you who don’t know, you’re in for a treat. Every year, we have at least 20 new students arrive. That being said, a lot of people don’t know each other. Hell, a lot of you have grown up together and you don’t even know each other. So, for this assignment, you will be matched with someone in this class. You will get to know them and create something to...represent them.” A collective groan came from the class, along with many cuss words being uttered under people’s breath. Mrs. Atkinson rolled her eyes and continued nonetheless. “It can be a written essay or something you physically create. I’ve had students in the past write songs, paint pictures, draw something. It’s up to you, but this will be the major part of your grade.” Another groan sounded from the students, making the teacher scrunch up her face in frustration. She pulled out a list and quickly read them off. Some people celebrated upon receiving their partners, others sighed and quietly accepted their doom. Mrs. Atkinson’s eyes fell on Frank, a slight smirk on her face. She knew he was new here this year and boy, did she have big plans. “Frank and Gerard.” The entire class went silent at the mention of the school’s own black sheep. Frank buried his head in his hands and groaned, hearing the other chuckle quietly. “Alright, class. Get to work.” 

“Fuckin’ hell.” Frank muttered as he dragged himself over to Gerard’s solitary desk at the back of the classroom. The black-haired freak only smirked at the other’s pain. Upon seeing the other’s smirk, Frank growled and rolled his eyes. “So, I’m assuming you’re going to be a dick about this? Why am I not surprised?”

“Hey, I’m not happy about this assignment either. I’ve got you all figured out already. I have no clue why she gave us a month to work on this.” 

“Oh really?” Frank arched an eyebrow at Gerard’s very overconfident statement. 

“Mhm. Give me three minutes and I can tell you everything about your life.” 

“Be my guest.” Gerard ran a hand through his greasy, under-washed hair before lunging closer to Frank. The smaller of the two jumped back reflexively in quite an entertaining way. Gerard simply laughed and crossed his arms leaning back a little bit.

“How pathetic.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be telling me my fortune or something?”   
Gerard leaned closer slowly this time, Frank only holding his breath instead of backing away. Gerard’s gaze petrified Frank even from a distance. He assumed it would be scarier up close and he was... very much correct. He constantly looked like the monster from 90’s or early 2000’s horror movie. Like if Ghostface took off his mask but wasn’t Shaggy from the live-action Scooby Doo, or the Phantom of the Opera but without the deformed side of his face. Well, Gerard did have a few scars upon closer inspection, but they were hardly visible underneath his eggshell-colored foundation. Frank made a mental note to ask him what shade of foundation he actually used. A mischievous glint appeared in the hazely-brown eyes before him. That...couldn’t possibly mean something good.

“Okay. I got it.”

“Go ahead. I’m listening.” 

With a crack of his knuckles, Gerard said more words in this one statement than he had in the past three months.

“For starters, your father left when you were little. He drank quite a bit and your mother didn’t like it. He was quite possibly abusive, which is why when he left, your mother took over. Hence the cigarette burns on your arms. Your mother is homophobic and quite catholic, which is what she uses as an excuse for not accepting you. You’re very much gay. That was obvious from the moment I saw you. You’ve had quite a few boyfriends since you figured it out but have since stopped, because the last one was discovered by your mother.” Frank rolled down the sleeves to his black and yellow plaid shirt, scowling at the other, which only encouraged him even more. “You don’t have a very big dick, since you pretty much always cross your legs. You tend to be less dominant, so you’re also a bottom. You like skateboarding, smoking weed, confusing straight guys and failing classes. You’re also deathly afraid of me for some reason. I’m assuming that you’ve heard the rumors and let me just tell you: they’re all 100% true. Also, you’re into BDSM.”

And at that, Frank just straight-up (which is probably the straightest thing he’s ever done) laughed. It wasn’t a sincere, happy laugh, though. More like a ‘that was the most fucking stupid thing I’ve ever heard’ laugh. 

“You’re completely wrong. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone be so wrong about me before. For starters, my father died in a plane crash before I was born. Those cigarette burns are… whatever. My mother is quite homophobic, but she’s never found out about any of my boyfriends. I’ve got quite a big dick and, while I do enjoy doing all of those things, I am not a bottom. I’m actually asexual. So congratulations, Gerard the psychic. You failed.” And with that, the bell rang right in Gerard’s ear, leaving him stumped as Frank waltzed out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Art class was never fun for Frank. Never. The teacher usually droned on and on. Both Frank and Gerard had a hard time time focusing. Being very different people, they dealt with it very different ways. Frank mostly looked up memes on his phone, while Gerard drew. He was constantly drawing, so no one even really took notice to it. The teacher typically didn’t care either. They rambled on about their ex wife or their ex husband or something like that. Frank had counted eight partners they claimed to have had in the past two years. Now that’s impressive. 

 

Anywho, Gerard was drawing aggressively. Very aggressively. So aggressively, in fact, that Frank couldn’t stop focusing on it. 

“Will. You. Stop. Drawing. So. Loudly?” Frank spat through gritted teeth, glaring at Gerard from his seat across the table. 

“Just don’t let it bother you.” Ray whispered from next to Frank, going back to his little sketch. They were in art class and they just so happened to be tasked with drawing each other. Take a wild guess at who Frank was paired up with. Ray had been lucky enough to be paired with Mikey, Gerard’s less weird, younger brother. He was in the grade below us, but in all of our classes. Apparently he was really smart or something. Anyway, Frank had gotten absolutely nowhere on his portrait. Any time he looked at Gerard to try and draw him, Norman Bates jr. was always glaring at Frank. The art teacher even said that the portrait didn’t have to be realistic, it just had to be good. If “good” meant a blank page, then Frank would ace this assignment. 

Gerard, on the other hand….had made no progress as well. Any time he tried to draw Frank, it just looked wrong. The face was the wrong shape, the eyes looked dead…. God, Gerard was never going to finish this project. He scribbled out his latest attempt, done in cubism. Picasso did a ton of work in cubism and, Picasso being a very incredible artist, Gerard thought it would look great! He was very much incorrect. It looked like absolute shit. 

“Hey. Why’d you scribble that out? I liked it.” Mikey asked, setting down his pencil and looking over at his brother. Gerard growled and rolled his eyes, starting on a new page instead of answering his little brother. Mikey returned to drawing, not wanting to pester his sibling. Gerard just went back to drawing. 

Time passed.

The class was way too long. Each class was around an hour and a half, which is ridiculous since no teenager is going to focus for that long. And they didn’t, but the teachers were too afraid to keep the students in line. Apparently, teenagers scare the living shit out of them. 

“Stop.” Frank said, his glare burning with intensity. Gerard put down his pencil, glaring right back up at Frank. “Stop scribbling. It’s fuckin’ annoying.” 

“Make me.” And Gerard went right back to scribbling. Frank rolled his eyes and covered his ears. He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears. He prayed that meant he was having a heart attack.

“G, please stop. Frank asked you a bunch of times. Just...try and draw a little quieter.” Mikey said softly, trying not to anger his brother.

“Oh fuck off, Mikey.” Gerard said, setting down his pencil and rolling his eyes. 

“Okay, what the fuck is your problem?” 

“My problem, Frank, is you. So fuck off.” 

“Is that just your default setting? ‘Fuck off’? You’re so fucking dumb.” Gerard stood up at that, anger burning in his eyes.

“Take. That. Back.” 

“Make me.” 

 

And that was Frank’s fatal mistake. Gerard picked up an entire container of red paint and threw it at the smaller classmate. It looked like Frank sneezed while he was on his period (which unfortunately he had). It dripped down his face slowly, his glare not faltering. A few gasps came from around the room. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him. A growl came from deep in his throat and Frank practically jumped on top of Gerard. The two fell to the floor, acrylic blood covering both of them as they threw punches and tried to gain some traction. 

“BREAK IT UP. NOW.” The art teacher practically screamed, other students pulling the two apart. Gerard’s nose was bleeding actual blood, as was Frank’s lip. The art teacher looked between the two of them and glared. “Detention. Both of you. You’re lucky I don’t have both of you suspended. Now go to the nurse and get yourselves cleaned up.” 

And just like that, it was like the fight never happened. All of the students returned to their seats and got back to work. All except Mikey and Ray. Mikey was being comforted by some random guy named Pete and Ray was right there with the two. They both looked shaken, but they dulled in comparison to Gerard’s look. He looked so...damaged. Frank glared at him nonetheless. Gerard’s look hardened once again and he wiped the blood from his nose using his sleeve. Smirking, while covered in acrylic blood, Frank flipped Gerard off before walking right to the nurses office. Gerard followed not to far behind, but refused to go within a good fifteen feet of him. Of course, the nurse babied the two of them immensely, giving them the old “place nice, you two” when she saw the glares they shared. The nurse gave Frank and Gerard some gauze and sent them on their way. 

“You’re such a dickhead. I can’t believe you gave me detention. My mom’s gonna lose her shit.” Frank muttered, half directed at himself and half directed at Gerard. 

“Yeah, well you think my family’s gonna be happy either?” Gerard mumbled back, half and half once again. Oh. Right. Gerard had a family too. Frank had nearly forgotten. Besides Mikey, Gerard never even mentioned his parents, let alone anyone else that could possibly be in his family. And for good reason, too. His parents were raging homophobes, as were his grandparents. His friend once came over and started talking about her girlfriend and...let’s just say that she ended up leaving and never coming back. Her picture is on a “banned from this house” kind of board, along with Gerard’s first boyfriend (but they didn’t know, of course). They were practically dead to him, so there really wasn’t a point in mentioning them at all. 

They walked back the rest of the time in silence, Frank opening the door to the classroom and letting it close in Gerard’s face. Gerard simply grumbled and walked inside, sitting down once again. The two exchanged silent glares the entire class, knowing they had to “play nice” for the rest of the period. The bell rang quickly and all of the students left in a hurry. Both of them stood up to leave with the rest of the class and Frank was this close to the door before he heard the teacher clear their throat.

“Where do you two think you’re going?” The two of them rolled their eyes and walked back into the classroom, making sure to be as far apart as possible. “Listen, boys. You need to get along. I know you hate each other, but get this: I don’t give a fuck. Learn how to tolerate each other.” The teacher glared at the two and pointed to the door. Frank didn’t need to be told twice. He ran out of the classroom, not looking back for a second. Gerard, however, stayed behind. “So, you really like him, ay?”

“Excuse me, what?” He asked, looking back at the teacher skeptically. Unlike how he addresses his peers, he made sure his tone wasn’t snarky or threatening. He made sure that it was clear he was joking and meant no disrespect.

“You heard me. I can see the way you look at him.”   
“It’s pointless anyway.” He sighed out, dropping the whole ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ act. “I’m not his soulmate. It means we’re not meant to last.”

“How do you know? Do you remember the first words you said to him?” 

“....no.”

“Exactly! So it’s still possible! Just go for it, Gerard. And don’t physically fight him this time.”

“Okay, okay.” He left the classroom with a little salute and maybe, just maybe, a smile.


	5. Chapter 5

“You have three hours. Play nice, boys.” The teacher stated before taking a sip of coffee and promptly strolling out of the door. It closed with a click, the teacher locking it behind him. Play time! Gerard kicked up his feet on the desk, pulling out his sketchbook and drawing loudly, like always. He had it tilted in a way that just he could see it, not Frank. It was way better that way, since Frank couldn’t see he was being drawn. 

‘What art style should I try? Cartoony? Realistic? Impressionism???’ Gerard thought to himself, mumbling incoherently and choosing impressionism at random. It had always been one of his favorites for some reason, although he never quite did it like others did. He preferred to use hatching and crosshatching as opposed to brush strokes or anything else of a similar technique. God, Gerard was such an art nerd™. It was kind of cute, though. Too bad people are too scared to even consider he could have interests. 

Frank looked around the room, spotting a boy who was sleeping in the corner, but not much else of interest. His phone vibrated in his pocket, reminding him that he had at least something to do. Frank? Reading fanfiction in detention? It’s more likely than you think. He opened up some obscure fanfiction website, not specified because the author of this fanfiction is not a sellout. A small snicker escaped Frank’s lips as he read where he last left off. The two main characters, both guys of course, were right in the middle of a sex scene. Frank wasn’t the kind of guy who got off on this shit, but it was still pretty fun to read. His eyes scanned the screen quickly, his slight uncomfortable-ness growing a bit.

Frank was completely fine with sex. Well, he thought. He’d never done it before. But he didn’t think he needed to. He never really….looked at someone and thought “hey, I wanna have sex with them.” He fell in love frequently and was fine with having intercourse, just he wasn’t going to be the one to initiate it. Many people saw his sexuality as invalid but it really didn’t matter to him. 

Mainly, his discomfort was from the fact that one of the characters was named Gee. 

“Stop reading smut, Iero. Jesus fucking christ.” Gerard broke the silence, setting down his sketchbook and looking over at Frank with a dead-inside expression. Frank’s face heated up, his cheeks dusting themselves with pink.

“I-I’m not reading smut. Where the fuck did you get that idea?” Gerard only pointed to the window behind them, where his phone screen was being perfectly reflected on to the glass. You could see the text, plain as day. And boy, was it kinky. Curse the stupid large font. 

 

“Fuck.” Frank muttered.

Gerard slammed sketchbook closed. His drawing was shit once again. Frank looked….fake. Frank Iero didn’t deserve to be fake-looking. In a sudden surge of emotion, he laughed, chucking it across the room. It slammed right into a pile of papers, knocking all of them to the floor. Breaking stuff was pretty fun for Gerard, so you could just see his eyes light up when the papers fell. 

“I wanna destroy more shit.” He stood up and walked over to the teacher’s desk, prying open the drawers and taking a random sharpie out. His eyes glistened as his gaze fell on the sleeping boy in the corner. His name was Ryan or something, but that didn’t matter. Now, he was Gerard’s human canvas. Gerard kneeled down next to Ryan, popped open the sharpie with his teeth, and started drawing. He started with the eyes, drawing big, black circles over them that spanned from the side of his nose to the corner of his eye. He filled them in gently, not daring to wake up the other. 

“Shut up, Brendon. Let me enjoy my Cheez Whiz.” Ryan said in his sleep, still slumped against the wall. A small smile was on his face, despite his consciousness not being present. Maybe, Frank thought, he was in love.

Gerard didn’t care.

He continued to draw, sketching out teeth, a hollow nose and a crack spanning from the temple down the side of his face. It was actually surprisingly detailed, for a drawing using only a sharpie and no references. He continued to fill it in, snickering the whole time.

“You’re gonna get caught.” Frank replied, not moving his eyes from his fanfic (Gee-named people free this time.)

“Fuck it. I don’t care anyway.” Gerard replied, shading a bit around the eyes. 

“You suck.”

“You suck dick.”

“Yeah, no shit. Careful, freakboy, or I might just suck your dick.”

“Well jeez, take me on a date first.” Frank looked over at Gerard, a mischievous glint in his eye. He’d felt a sudden jolt of confidence when he entered detention for some random reason; May as well take advantage of it.

“How does Friday after school sound?” Gerard stopped drawing on Ryan’s face, his hands shaking with nervous energy. He looked back at Frank, giving the much shorter one of them a surprised look.

“Sorry whAt?” He asked, his voice cracking. Frank snickered, turning to face Gerard with a smirk.

“I said, Friday after school.” 

“No thanks.” That was all Gerard said before finishing the drawing and standing up. Running a hand through his raven hair, he took a shaky breath and exited the room. His high-heel combat boots clicked against the floor as he left. 

Frank had never seen that side of Gerard; the side that was bashful and got flustered. The side that actually had fun. The side that was human. And Frank wanted to get to know this Gerard. 

Frank stood up to try and stop him, but-

Wait, wait, wait. What was he doing? He didn’t care about Gerard. And Gerard didn’t care about Frank. Neither of them cared one bit. 

Frank stayed for the three hours, dragging himself home afterwards. His mother’s screaming flooded into his ears, the usual routine of after school. It was all just “not good enough” and “fucking worthless” and slurs that Frank didn’t care to repeat, even in his head. He limbered up to his room without eating dinner, closing his door quietly and leaning against it as the tears fell down his face. He clutched his phone to his unbound chest, feeling his flesh squish under the pressure and fuck, that only made him cry harder. His stomach hurt and his eyes hurt and everything just fucking hurt. Why did everything have to hurt? It was a deep pain, a pain that swallowed him whole like a big, black void. Frank went through the routine again of binding with bandages, having a panic attack and having to take them off. He always went through this when he felt dysphoric. It was like an addiction. He didn’t do it to hurt himself; he did it to be himself. 

‘I’m a boy. I’m a boy. I’m a boy.’ The words echoed in his brain, silenced by his mother’s screaming voice. ‘YOU’RE A FUCKING GIRL, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT.’

He curled up in his bed, hugging the pillow to his chest and shifting around in an attempt to get comfortable. Pain wracked his stomach. He wished he had a heating pad.

*************  
Gerard had just finished fighting with Mikey before slamming his bedroom door. His brother had started questioning why Gerard had gotten detention...and why he refused to take off his long sleeves. ‘Mikey just cares too much.’ He told himself, grumbling and plopping down on his bed with his phone in hand. He pulled up Tumblr, the cursed site itself, and scrolled through looking at his blog. It was pretty average blog, full of random gay shit, as any good blog is. He made a lot of original posts, sometimes stories, sometimes poetry. Sometimes he posted art for people online. He tried his best not to rant too much; no one wants to follow a depressed fuck who complains all the time, after all. He stared at the url, sighing. Geeway0409. Who the fuck even is Gee Way? Setting down his phone, he got up and walked over to his shattered, old mirror. A fist sized hole stared at him, looking deep into his insides. Spiderwebs cracked outwards from the hole. The person looking back at him is not Gerard Way. It’s someone else. 

His vision went blurry as tears streamed down his face.

‘Who am I? Who is this fucking stranger? It’s not me….or is it? I don’t even fucking know anymore.’ 

He was in pain. Pain was the only way to put it. Everything hurts. Everything hurts. Everything. Hurts. It wasn’t a physical pain; it was a pain that welled up deep in his bones. 

The tears fell faster and faster, sobs wracking his body. His arms snaked around his midsection, hugging himself tightly. It fucking burned, which only made his situation worse. The melancholy teen dragged himself over to his closet, opening the door and curling up into a ball on the floor of it. 

He wanted this all to stop

Make it stop  
Make it stop  
Make it stop

An image flashed in his mind. A razor blade in the bottom of his dresser. It glinted softly in the overhead light. His old friend. The blade’s powers had been called upon frequently, more and more times as of lately. He crawled over to the dresser where he stored it and ripped open the drawer, tossing clothes out all over his room before his hand closed around the blade. He doubted his parents would care about the noise, seeing as they were blackout drunk and sleeping on the couch. 

He rolled up his sleeves, grimacing at the sting. He’d done this only a few days ago and the marks were still fresh. 

His failures stared him in the face. 

“I hate you”

“I love you two”

Those were the tattoos he’d received on his birthday, not so long ago. What a shock. Someone’s first words to him were “I hate you.” How fucking typical.

He made a slash across his arm, not aiming in the slightest. It cut deep, red overflowing and dripping down. The words weren’t covered yet. 

‘Not enough.’

More and more and more, on both arms. He’d taken off his shirt, disregarding the shame, and continued. He’s fat. He’s a faggot. He’s worthless. He’s a suicidal maniac. He is nothing. 

And with a slice for each of those reasons, there was more than enough liquid roses to cover his words. He sighed contently, dropping the steel and smiling. A relieving rush of apathy filled his brain as he giggled, staring at the mess he made. And the giggles turned into laughs, the laughter turned into tears.

The tears always win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that @geeway0409 is a real tumblr and soon to be a real twitter (in case Tumblr goes down)


	6. Chapter 6

P.E. class: Loved by your GPA and hated by all. It was easily everyone's least favorite class, but it was a requirement at Belleville high, so people typically just sucked it up and did it.

Frank did that exactly, even though he got winded even just walking up a flight of stairs. He ran out of the locker room with the rest of the class, trying to ignore the shorts that showed his thighs and the slightly too tight shirt. Nobody else really seemed to notice, which he thanked his lucky stars for, but he just couldn't keep his mind off it. What if people did notice that his thighs were a little too big or that he actually had hips or that his chest was a little too big for a regular guy? With any luck, they'd probably just think he was fat.

"ALRIGHT. GATHER UP, PEASANTS!" The teacher yelled, every student except Frank gathering into a huddle instinctively. The loud-mouthed teacher was your stereotypical P.E. teacher; polos, khaki shorts, sneakers, receding hairline and probably the kind of guy who got off on being called "coach" by his students. "That means you too, Mr. Iero and Mr. Way."

Frank walked closer to the group, not quite joining and not bothering to look back. Gerard walked over to the group, trench coat and all, looking cocky as ever. He smirked at the teacher, flipping the middle-aged man off as he pointed to the bleachers. Gerard walked over to them and sat down, leaning back and pulling out his phone. He knew the teacher didn't have the ability to give him detention in this class, so he used that to his advantage, of course. He was smart like that. There was no way in hell he was taking any of this off and wearing that dumbass gym outfit.

"Anyway, TWENTY LAPS RIGHT NOW GO GO GO."

 

'Twenty

Fucking

Laps

No fucking way'

 

Groaning, Frank started on his laps, already a few paces behind the rest of the group. He passed by Gerard once, glaring at him while he just kept texting on his phone. Two, three, four times, Frank passed the other and each time, his lungs got more and more achy. It felt like an elephant was sitting on his chest and it was just making itself more and more comfortable. Goddamn, did it hurt like hell. Actually, hell probably hurts less than this.

'Jesus fuck. What did you expect, Frank? You've got a death trap around your ribs. It's never gonna feel good, especially when you're running. Just keep running!'

And he did as his internal voice told him, pushing aside all thoughts of pain or worry and just running. Just keep running. Just keep running.

X X X X X X X X X

 

Gee: P.E. class fucking sucks. How do you normally deal with this?

Moikey: I don't. I get out of it for my knees, remember?  
Gee: No fair! Sign me up for skipping!

Moikey: I don't think having anxiety is enough of a pass for Coach

Gee: What an asshole

Moikey: Go back to class. You don't need to fail this too

Gee: Oh shut it, Moikey

 

'What idiots. Do they really think running is gonna do anything?'

In fact, running wouldn't do them any good now or later. Gerard had tried running before and fuck, it didn't do anything at all. His parents constantly told him to lose weight but no matter what he tried, he was always just...chubby. Thank god for a trench coat and an oversized shirt or fuck, he probably would've shot himself a long time ago.

Locking his phone, he returned it and looked around until his eyes fell on Iero. That asshole was coughing and wheezing like there's no tomorrow. How pathetic. The entire group had probably lapped him at least four or five times by now. What, did he have asthma or something? He did have tiny lungs, being so incredibly fun-sized, so it makes sense. What a little mouse.

And, in true weakling fashion, Iero passes out. Gerard stood up, instantly worried about the other. But then he sat back down, watching the other students kicking the collapsed body on the ground.

'Why should I worry about him? He's just a dickhead.... who probably doesn't get it. He just got here, so how could he know. The least I could do is....Goddamnit, they're gonna kill him. Fuck it. I'll just scare him away once he's safe.'

In a blur of black, he ran across the gymnasium and scooped up the other in his arms. Iero was surprisingly light, so carrying him to the boy's locker room was an easy task. Gerard gently set the other down on a bench, walking over to the mirror to check his makeup while he waited for the other to wake up.

 

 

But he didn't wake up.

 

 

Instead, he just coughed a few times, wheezing more and more with each breath.

 

 

'Okay. That does NOT sound good.'

He briskly walked over to the sleeping figure, pressing the side of his head to the other's chest. He could hear the heartbeat, but it sounded a little too muffled. Which meant he was wearing something underneath.

Now, normally, Gerard would've put the 'No-homo principle' into effect, but fuck, Frank could die. This was more important than upholding a heteronormative illusion.

Gerard gently lifted up Frank's shirt and bit his lip, trying not to get psyched out. Frank was wearing something underneath, but that was absolutely none of Gerard's business. All he had to do was loosen it and be done.

"God-fucking-damnit. How do these fucking things work?" He rolled Frank gently to one side, spotting a few little hooks going up the undershirt-looking thingy. "Here goes nothing." He unhooked each one carefully and Frank gasped, unwaking but clearly improving. He sat up and coughed, Gerard jumping back and taking a few deep breaths himself. Frank looked down at his chest, yelping and pulling his shirt down.

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?"

"I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP. YOU DIED OR SOME SHIT AND I HAD TO LOOSEN THAT DEATH TRAP ON YOUR CHEST."

"IT'S CALLED A BINDER YOU FUCKING IDIOT."

"WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BINDER?"

"CAUSE I HAVE TITTIES YOU FUCKING PERV."

Aaaand silence. Frank sighed in frustration, standing up and walking into a stall to fix his binder. Gerard looked away in respect, blushing bright red and covering his eyes.

"I'm trans. This 'death trap' is a binder." Frank walked out of the stall, his binder and shirt back in place and he sighed. "Just...please don't tell anyone. You can pick on me all you want for any other shit just please, please don't about this."

Gerard's heart melted like butter at the pleading look in Frank's eyes. Sighing softly, Gerard crossed his arms and looked away again, this time trying to avoid the gaze of the other. 

 

"Fine. I won't. Just...don't be such an easy target. Or fight back. It's kind of embarrassing to pick on someone who just kind of gives in." Frank snickered, covering his mouth and trying to hold it back, but it just turned into a full-on laugh.

"Oh my god. Does this mean you're doing the whole 'I pick on you because I like you' thing? Oh. My. God!" Gerard blushed once again and Frank laughed even harder, slapping his knee and doubling over from the fit of giggles. "Oh man. You really got it bad for me, don't you?"

"Aaaand this is what I get for saving your life." Gerard walked out of the locker room, blushing redder than a tomato and smiling ever so slightly. Of course, he would deny all of this to Mikey later, as Frank would to his mother, but when they were smiling at the ceiling around three in the morning, they couldn't even deny it to themselves.

 

Maybe they had a little bit of a crush.


	7. Chapter 7

"Alright, class. Shut up and get to work. I'm too tired for this bullshit." The teacher, taking a sip of their coffee, walked right back to their desk and passed out. Damn.

"The academic system is magical, isn't it?" Frank commented, laughing as he did so. Gee looked over at him, realizing that the smaller of the two was actually talking to them, and shook his head in disappointment for their teacher.

 

"Jesus. Where do they even find people this dead inside?"

"I don't know. I think they're drawn to this place like a magnet. They come with so much hope and joy, not realizing they'll just be burnt down to the ground by their future replacements."

"Yup. School just loves to destroy your hope and crush your dreams." Their hazel eyes flickered over to Frank's very blank paper. 'Good. I'm not the only one who has no idea what to do for this.'

A few beats of silence passed, neither of them saying a word to each other. There was clearly an elephant in the room...okay, more like 30. But one really stood out to Gee and, fuck, the silence was starting to get to them.

"So, uh, how are your ribs feeling?" They asked kind of awkwardly, trying to hold a conversation (which they clearly weren't good at.)

"They're fine. They kind of always hurt, but that's okay." He paused, looking up at Gerard and snickering. "Have you seriously never seen a binder before?"

"Well...no. I've never really known anyone that wasn't exactly cis."

"Ah, so homo/transphobic parents, I'm guessing."

"Bingo. I asked them for a dress once when I was six and they lost their shit. I think they might have even brought me to an exorcist." Frank started laughing and so did Gee, even though it wasn't really a joke at all.

"Oh man. You should've seen my mom's face when I told her about me. She called my art teacher at the time and told him that he was a 'bad influence' on me with his 'free thinking'. It was terrifying at the time, but fucking hilarious now."

"Yeah, I get it. My parents still don't even know I wear makeup. I'm sure they'd be," they gestured to their dark, ominous eye makeup, which they were actually quite proud of. "blown away by my skills."

"I think it looks hot, if that helps any." Frank suggested, Gee blushing a bit and raising an eyebrow at Frank.

"Uh....okay then."

"What? You're a guy and you're comfortable with being feminine. I find that pretty hot."

"I prefer to be androgynous, to be honest. It feels more comfortable most of the time." Frank's eyes widened a bit and he bit his lip.

"Have....Have I been misgendering you this whole time? I always heard people refer to you as 'he' and I assumed and...oh god, I'm just as bad as everyone else." He mumbled the last part, looking down at his blank sheet of sketch paper.

Now it was Gee's turn to laugh at the embarassment. They almost giggled, in fact, but stopped themselves just in time. "No, it's okay. I go by he or they. Well, today's a 'they' day, but normally I don't really care."

"Oh thank god!" Frank sighed, releaved, and leaned back in his incredibly uncomfortable chair. "I really hate being misgendered and I would probably fucking shoot myself if I ever did it to anyone else."

A few more beats passed, the conversation slowly dying. But this was the first time Gerard had ever talked to Frank about....really much of anything. And he liked it. And they liked it. And neither of them really wanted it to end.

"So wait, do you get dysphoric too, or does that not really apply to you?" Frank asked, his knee bouncing with nervous energy as he did.

"What's dysphoria?" Gee asked, not looking at the other as they sketched a few lines onto their paper. It was the beginnings of a face shape, but they still had absolutely no idea what to draw.

"Uh, it's like...um....Imagine that you're looking at yourself in a mirror. But the person isn't you. You know it's you, but your body is the wrong shape and you have the wrong parts and everything feels just wrong."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I mean 'oh' as in 'oh, I get that all the time'. That happens on my 'they' days a lot. I really wish I had a more androgynous body."

"Man. I feel bad for you. I mean, I feel dysphoria all the time, but androgyny is way harder to achieve than masculinity or femininity."

Gee gave a nod and returning to their sketch. "You know it. Besides wearing makeup, I don't really have much going for me in the androgyny section."

"I could help you, you know. I'm pretty good at the whole 'passing as a different gender' thing. Hell, I even thought I was non-binary for a while, so I've got some experience with this kind of stuff." Gee looked back up at Frank, giving him a half-smile and adjusting his sleeves.

"That'd be great, actually. Thanks." 

 

Holy. Fuck.

 

Frank's heart skipped a solid twenty beats.

Gee's smile is gorgeous

They're smiling.

They're smiling

 

 

 

 

 

OH MY GOD, THEY'RE SMILING

"Uh....Frank? Hello?" Gerard waved a hand in front of Frank's eyes, snapping a few times to check that he hadn't suddenly gone brain dead. Frank's eyes focused and he shook his head, giving a bashful smile and blushing a bit.

"Sorry. I just....nothing." His eyes fell to the elegant 'Fuck You's on his arms, finding it easier to focus on than the gorgeous (possibly) human being before him.

"What did I do now?" They asked, rolling their eyes and going back to their drawing.

"Uh, nothing. You're just....your smile is amazing."

"Oh." Gee blushed, not moving their eyes from the paper. "Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome. I would tell you to smile more often, but then I'd be a hypocrite." Both of them chuckled, the pink glowing on both of their cheeks. "Guess I'll just have to make you smile....."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Starting with this: Your eyeliner looks great today!"

"Jesus fuck, here we go."

X X X X X X X X X X X

"So he really tried to woo you by complimenting your eyeliner?" Mikey asked, laughing and leaning back against the wall which his bed was pressed against. Gee nodded and laughed from the other end of the bed, also leaning against the wall.

"Yup. He's...quite the charmer."

"Sounds like it!"

"But no, seriously. He's really cute. And nice. And sweet. And funny."

Mikey blinked a few times, his laughter halting as he let Gee talk. "You sound like me when I talk about Pete." He laughed once again, Gee scowling and turning away.

 

"Shut up. It's nothing like you and Pete because hey, news flash: I DON'T LIKE HIM!"

"Yes you do."

"Fuck off, Mikey."

 

"Make me!" 

 

Gee gently pushed their brother, careful not to do any damage or anything of the sort but hard enough to prove their point. The two of them laughed some more, ruffling up Mikey's hair and making the younger of the two upset. Poor Gee had to listen to Mikey bitch about how they messed up his 'Perfect Fringe', but it was so worth it. Gee valued this time with their brother over everything else, including their own life. They often skipped meals just to hang out with Mikey during school, but they could probably stand to lose a few pounds anyway. That's what their parents said at least and, whatever their parents say, goes.

It was dinner before they knew it, and the two of them walked downstairs and sat at the perfectly preset table. Gee had remembered to take off their eyeliner beforehand and Mikey changed into a band T-shirt. Their parents had a "No-homo" rule but for the entire house, not just between two bros not wanting to admit they're gay. Gee refused to take off the black clothing, which drove their parents crazy, but they weren't willing to get rid of that aspect of themselves. Gee sat down across from Mikey at either side of the table while Mr. and Mrs. Way sat at either end. They looked the same as always, Mrs. Way wearing a sweater and her hair in a tight bun and Mr. Way, dress shirt, black pants and a belt buckle that glistens in the light. They both had that whole 'I'm a lawyer and I could sue your ass just for breathing' aura around them, which could intimidate any man, woman or child (especially their children.) Mrs. Way scowled at Gee, Mr. Way rolling his eyes and looking away.

"Gerard, would it kill you to wear some color once in a while?" Their father asked, still looking away. Mikey rolled his eyes and kept quiet.

"Yes, it would." Gee snapped. They took a deep breath and cleared their throat, falling silent as Mrs. Way got up and served dinner. They were having steak, apparently, which was ridiculously....gross looking. Their parents started to eat and both Mikey and Gee grimaced.

The Way parents looked down on their children from their high horse, scoffing and jeering at their ashamed children. Mikey and Gee really were different from their parents and the rest of the family because they were actually decent people. Even with all the flaws, they were still better people than those who surrounded them. They had hearts and they actually cared about others while their parents sued people and took them for everything they have. It was no wonder the Way children hated their parents so much. In a silent agreement to grab a bite to eat later, the two children stood up and left the table, ignoring their parents' demands that they return and obscene language. That's what the Way children do; Rebel, even if it means their parents dispising their guts. Because it's the right thing to do. The hard thing, but the right thing.


	8. Chapter 8

Frank walked into class the next morning looking...down, to say the least. He was wearing his biggest, baggiest hoodie that he owned, which hung off him and made him look like a child wearing their parent's clothes. His jeans were huge as well, and the only thing that was holding them up was his belt. Even when Gerard walked up to him and waved, Frank just stared at him blankly. It was odd, to say the least.

By the time lunch came around, Frank was resting his head on one of the tables, hardly moving besides the soft rise and fall for breathing. Gerard sat down across from him, a worried look on his face.

"Hey, Frank." When Frank didn't respond, Gerard continued. "Dude, you look more depressed than me right now, which, to be honest, I didn't think was possible."

Frank chuckled softly, sitting up and smirking weakly at him. His eyes were outlined by dark bags, not made by the eyeliner he'd lost the confidence to wear long ago. The glint in his irises was gone, replaced by a void the clear fact that he'd given up. "Funny."

"Frank....what the fuck happened to you?"

"Nothing."

"This doesn't look like nothing."

"It's just...nothing. I'm sad. That's all."

Gerard could tell he was lying without a doubt. It's hard to bullshit a bullshitter.

"You don't have to lie to me, Frank. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, right." He mumbled, looking away. Gerard frowned, staring at Frank as the other refused to look away.

'Looking away, so anxious or worried. Baggy clothes, so potentially dysphoria. Or maybe he is just sad, but I doubt it. He's mentioned his parents are s-.....OH! HIS PARENTS!'

"Is it something going on with your parents?" Gerard asked, returning to a neutral expression.

"How did you know?"

"Lucky guess. Sometimes I get like this when my parents decide to be extra shitty."

"I don't know what to do." He mumbled, shaking his head.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Frank."

"I said nothing. Just fuck off, okay?"

"Jesus."

They sat in silence for a while, both contemplating apologizing, but neither did. Instead, Gerard cleared his throat and broke the silence.

"I accept."

"What?"

"Your offer for a date. When we were in detention. I'm going to let you take me on a date."

"Gerard, I don't think that's such a-"

"Well, then I'll take you. Frank Iero, will you go on a date with me?"

Frank fell silent for a while, Gerard gnawing on his lip nervously. 'Wait. Why am I nervous? It's just Frank. We're just friends...if we even really are friends. I guess? It's complicated.'

"Eh, why not."

Gerard grinned, Frank half-smiling back. "Sick! Where do you wanna go?"

"Your place? I really don't wanna be home."

"Oh. Uh...I mean, if you can pretend we aren't on a date until we make it to my room, then sure. My parents are.......homophobic. And that's an understatement."

"I get it."

"I can just drive you over after school. I have to drive my brother Mikey too, but he shouldn't be too annoying."

"It's alright. I don't mind."

"Then it's a date."

"Mhm. Don't make me regret this, goth boy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, is he really cute or something?"

"Hell yeah. But don't tell him I said that."

Gerard and Mikey stood by his car, waiting for Frank to leave the building. He said he had to change or something, but he was taking forever. The two didn't want to seem like losers and wait inside, so leaning on the roof of Gerard's car was good enough.

"And he's gay, right?"

"Well, he accepted my date, so..."

"Hopefully?"

 

"Hopefully. I mean, he's gotta be at least bi. He dresses kinda feminine sometimes and he's got the balance of grace and toughness that most bi people have."

"Maybe he's not cis?"

Gerard paused for a moment, contemplating whether he should tell Mikey of the other's...disposition. But then again, that wasn't his news to share. "No. He's cis."

Mikey gasped slightly, turning to face away from Gerard. "Is that him? Damn, he is cute." Gerard turned to look the same way and smiled. Frank was walking over the them, backpack slung over his shoulder and sweatshirt still as baggy.

"Would I lie to you, Mikes?"

 

"Probably."

"Shut it."

Frank smiled half-heartedly, giving a quick wave to Gerard. "Hey."

"Hey! Frank, this is my brother Mikey. Mikey, Frank."

As soon as Frank's eyes landed on Mikey, he looked conflicted. Mikey wore black platform boots, white jeans and a neon green shirt, but all the components balanced into an equally feminine and masculine outfit. Why was it so easy for Mikey to pull off? Why did Frank always have to struggle just to pass. Fucking lucky-

"Frank? You okay there?" Gerard asked, snapping his fingers in front of Frank's face. He shook his head a few times, snapping out of it and smiling again.

"Yeah, I'm good. Nice to meet you, Mikey."

"Nice to meet you too." Mikey replied, shooting Gerard a questioning look. Gerard glared at him for a second before, in true Way fashion, the two turned back to Frank smiling as well.

"Okay then. Are you two gonna keep silently judging me or are we gonna go? Because, don't get me wrong, I love a good 'Pick on the faggot fest'." He commented sarcastically, Gerard's eyes widening in surprise and Mikey laughing.

"Honey, we're both gay. Don't worry. We were just....never mind. It's a Way thing."

"Whatever. I just wanna get out of here."

Frank climbed into the passenger seat, Mikey jumping in the back (even though he hardly fit) and Gerard sitting in the driver's seat. He started the car, instantly turning the radio on and blaring Green Day through the car. Frank grinned, turning to Gerard with an excited look in his eye.

"You like Green Day too?" He asked as Gerard pulled out of the parking lot and on to the street.

"Of course! Billy is a god. How could you not like Green Day?"

Still smiling, Frank turned back to face forward and, for the rest of the ride, he just let himself get lost in the music.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"So, Mother, this is my friend Frank. We have a project we need to do and I figured we could get in some extra work time."

"Are you sure this isn't some fag thing?"

"Mother, remember I said that I'm past that? You don't need to worry."

"Alright." Turning to Frank, she smiled and held out her hand for a handshake. "My name is Donna, but you may call me Mrs. Way. It's nice to meet you, Frank." Mrs. Way had a half-genuine expression, clearly offset by Frank's oversized clothes.

"Nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Way!"

 

"Alright, Frank. Let's go get studying."

The two of them hurried up to Gerard's room, passing the younger Way's room which was blaring music from inside. Frank ran into the room and Gerard practically slammed the door behind him, the two of them trying to catch their breath.

" 'I'm past that'? What the fuck?"

"I know. My mother thinks the gay thing is a phase. She threatened to send me to conversion therapy if I couldn't 'get past it'. It's what she wants to hear."

"Jesus."

"I know."

Frank walked around the pretty empty room, picking up a few things here and there. Gerard's room didn't really match his personality at all. It was fairly empty, a Green Day poster taped to the wall and a few CDs on the shelf. Otherwise, it was barren. It didn't appear he planned on staying long.

"Sorry for how my room looks. I would make it gayer, but my parents would lose their shit."

"I get it. Once you get your own place, you gotta make it gay as fuck."

 

"Oh you bet."

"So," Frank started, sitting down on Gerard's bed. "Top or bottom?"

 

Gerard blushed redder than a firetruck, eyes widening as Frank smirked. "W-What?"

 

Frank simply laughed, falling back on the bed and making himself comfortable. "I'm just kidding. You WISH you could tap this."

"N-No I don't."

 

"Then why are you blushing."

"Fuck off, Frank."

 

(A/N)

*Snickers at the foreshadowing I keep setting up*

Also if you like what you're reading, please comment, follow and vote! And make sure to recommend it to people! I need help getting my work out there and I know you guys can do it   
Thanks <3


	9. Chapter 9

The two star-crossed...acquaintances continued to laugh and joke around, Frank slipping in a comment every once in a while and making the more intimidating of the two blush. It felt great having this little power over Gerard, seeing as Frank didn't have that. Ever. Being short didn't help; Also, being a helpless, gay-ass bitch with anxiety and confidence issues didn't help. Then again, that described Gerard as well. But Frank didn't need to know that.

The two had really grown to enjoy each other's company quickly, seeing as they had been nearly enemies very recently. They still had boundaries they couldn't cross, such as much physical contact of any kind, but they were okay with that. And Gerard knew not to pry about Frank's parents, as much as he wanted to know. He knew he wasn't going to get much farther than a "I don't wanna talk about it" with Frank and, based on the little information he had, Gerard had the feeling he didn't want to know.

At the moment this resumes, Frank and Gerard happened to be talking about Jigsaw when a knock came at the door.

"You...Fffffuckking fags, come out here." Frank froze, Gerard turning towards the door and sighing. "GET OUT HERE NOW."

"Stay here. He's just drunk again." Gerard whispered, motioning for Frank to stay as he walked outside slowly. He closed the door gently, leaving Frank alone to his own thoughts.

X X X X X X X X X X

"Now liiiisten here, boys," Mr. Way started, clutching a bottle of some random alcohol he'd undoubtedly bought on the way home from work. It was nearly half empty now. To be honest, Gerard thought his father would have finished more by now.

"We're listening, Dad." Gerard commented, shifting a bit in front of Mikey, who had also made the mistake of leaving his room. A sharp, clean noise sounded as the back of Donald Way's hand connected with Gerard's cheek. Mikey yelped, Gerard holding his hand behind his back for Mikey to squeeze. The younger brother always insisted on squeezing Gerard's hand when he was nervous, which quickly became all the time when their father made alcohol his best friend. The habit had lasted, and Gerard had the feeling it would last as long as they were together.

"d...DON'T TALK BACK." He stopped to snicker, his eyes half closed as he did so. "Now, I found some makeup in your room," Neither of them dared to ask which room, seeing as both of them wore makeup. Although both of them made sure he would never find it. It was probably in their parents room, where Mrs. Way kept her makeup out on display, but they made the wise choice to stay silent. "I don't want any gay sons, alright? No makeup. If I find any again, I'll give you a reason to cry your little faggy asses off."

"Yes, sir." The two brothers said in unison, their father lumbering off to god knows where. Mikey pulled Gerard into a hug quickly, the eldest rubbing the younger's back gently. They stood there for a moment or two before they parted ways, Mikey going back to texting his crush, who happened to be a male and Gerard going back to talking to his crush, who wasn't female either. Both said a silent prayer that their father would never find out.

Gerard entered the room to a hyperventilating Frank, who was hugging his knees in the corner.

"Frankie?" Gerard asked, walking over slowly and kneeling down next to his friend. The other didn't respond, only continued his jagged and labored breathing. "Okay. Can I have your hand, please?"

Frank offered his shaking hand, still trying to breathe as Gerard took it in his own. His eyes flickered around Gerard's face, trying to read the other's expression. He connected their fingertips, gently maintaining the small bit of contact while he took deep, audible breaths. "Breathe, Frankie. Breathe. It's going to be okay."

Frank's breath slowed a bit and his eyes stopped flickering, focusing on Gerard's eyes. And Frank could've sworn his heart stopped right there, as their eyes met and his breathing regulated. And oh my god were Gerard's lips getting closer? And oh my god was Gerard's hand on Frank's chest? And oh my god, Frank can't breathe again?

 

"What's on your chest?" Gerard asked, noticing Frank's lack of breath even though the other had visibly calmed down. Frank grew pale, looking down at his chest and back up at Gerard.

"N-Nothing. Why?"

"It's clearly not nothing, because then your chest wouldn't be flat." The air decided to leave Frank's lungs again as he struggled to breathe, motioning to his chest.

"A-Ace bandages." He managed to get out, clinging on to Gerard's hand for death life as he frantically tried to take his hoodie off. Gerard gently tugged the bottom of Frank's hoodie over the other's head, trying to ignore his discomfort. This was not how he imagined he'd finally get to undress Frank. The shorter of the two could've sworn he was blushing, but he really was paler than he should be as he struggled to get oxygen into his body. Gerard reached around Frank's back, feeling where the bandages ended and, with a nod, Gerard pulled the bandage end out and let the bandages loosen on their own. Frank took a deep breath as they began to fall off, Gerard getting the hint to turn away and let Frank finish. He ripped the cursed ace bandages off his chest, pulling his hoodie on very quickly. 

"You're okay. I have my hoodie on now."

Gerard turned back around, worry plaguing his hazel eye; It looked natural, though, like it was born to be there. Frank didn't even know Gerard could worry. He sincerely thought 'Asshole' was Gerard's only setting.

And it probably was still, because all that was going through Gerard's head was 'Don't look at Frank's tits don't look at Frank's tits don't look at Frank's tits.'

"Okay now you're staring." Frank commented, crossing his arms over his very un-flat chest. He couldn't exactly blame Gerard, though. Without a binder, he was incredibly unflat. The universe had decided to bless this random teenager with big breasts, not caring that he was actually a he and hated them with a burning passion.

"S-Sorry." Gerard blushed like crazy, looking away. "I...uh...I probably have a bra around here if you need one."

"You're just making it worse." Frank replied, rolling his eyes. "I should probably leave anyway, before my mother goes all psychotic on me." Frank stood up, pushing by a still-blushing Gerard and stopped just before his open window. "Before I go, I gotta ask; Were you gonna kiss me back there?"

"I-I...Did you want me to?"

"Nope." With a smirk on his face, he ducked out the window and jumped on to the sidewalk, walking home with a pleased look for the first time in months.

Gerard was definitely fucked. 

 

(A/N)

Mmmm my teeth hurt really badly. Cavities suck. And hey I guess I'm gonna do these A/Ns now regularly because I feel like it. Remember I love comments, votes and follows <3

 

Comment something here I'm bored


	10. Chapter 10

Gerard and Frank found themselves eating lunch on the school’s version of a patio, being the only two who dared to go outside in a thunderstorm. The rain was pelting the umbrella above them, but it didn’t disturb either of them. In fact, it was music to Gerard’s ears. The rain was the tears of the clouds, and the lighting, the screams of the sky. It was a comfort Gerard hadn’t felt in a very long time. 

“You know, I think this is my favorite kind of weather.” Gerard commented, looking at the pelting blood of the sky around him. 

“I agree with you on that one. There’s something about being soaked to the bone that feels purifying.”

“I think fire’s more purifying, to be quite honest.”

“Really? How so?”

Gerard took a bite of his cold pizza before continuing. “Well, if you burn everything to the ground, all that’s left is ashes; no sins, no regrets. Just ashes. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. All is forgotten.”

“You sound crazy, you know that?”

“The good crazy?”

“Definitely.”

“Good to hear. I think I might just be the good kind of crazy. I think I could rock the hot psycho aesthetic.”

“You already do.”

“Aww. You called me hot.”

“And psycho, idiot.”

“I’ll take it.”

They ate in silence for a while, looking around at the emptiness that surrounded them. No other students had been brave enough to come outside, except for these two of course. They’d strolled out of the school, black umbrella in their joined hands and eyes locked as they laughed their way to the patio. Who needs warm food and dry shoes?

“Do you really think I’m hot?”

“Yup.”

“Seriously.”

“As a gay-ass bitch, I can promise you that I’m being serious.”

“Well, okay then.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“Nope.”

“You’re an idiot, then.”

“A hot, psychotic idiot. Get it right, Frankie dear.”

“Jesus fuck. Please never call me that ever again.”

“Fine….Frankie.”

“I won’t fight you on that one. As long as you don’t call me Faith.”

Before Gerard could ask who the hell Faith was, Frank felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he looked down at it, pulling it out and staring at the message he’d gotten. 

 

Frofro man: What the fuck are you doing, dude?  
Frankieboi: Uh….Eating lunch? Why?  
Frofro man: No, I mean with Norman Bates Jr.?  
Frankieboi: Yeah. Eating lunch.  
Frofro man: No no no. Bad idea. Everyone’s staring. Dude, you’re gonna be dead meat when you get in here.  
Frankieboi: What? Why? He’s just a normal fucking guy. I don’t get why you guys are scared of him.  
Frofro man: Dude. Everyone’s saying you’re his newest sex slave, I’ve heard at least ten different people say something along the lines of “Gerard, Mikey and Frank had a threesome” and shit like that. Please tell me that’s not true  
Frankieboi: Of course not! He hasn’t even touched me! Jesus fucking christ, Ray.  
Frofro man: You need to get away from him. Now.

 

Something inside Frank snapped in him and he stood up, setting his phone down and walking out from under the umbrella, letting the elements take over his fate. Rain pelted down on him, soaking him to his very core. He welcomed it, running his hands through his hair and laughing. Gerard gave him a funny look, but he just spun around, opening his mouth and letting the rain hydrate him. There was just something about the feeling of the water pouring down on him that felt great. It felt like death, and fuck, that’s what he needed. He needed to be purified.

“Come and dance with me, my love.” He turned to face Gerard, smirking and holding out his hand to the other, who looked freaked out to say the least. They’d switched roles in this moment, Gerard being the shy and Frank the rebel against the world. 

“F-Frank, what the-....everyone’s staring...”

“Since when do you care about that? Come on! The water’s fine!” Frank laughed, spinning around once again and staring up as the sky cried all over him. 

Gerard took off his trench coat, revealing the long sleeves and jeans of black he always wore. And he stepped into the rain, flinching as he did so. Frank held out his hand to the other, Gerard gingerly accepting it and yelping as he was pulled closer. The shorter taking the lead, he took a step back, the taller following as they gazed into each other’s eyes. They waltzed, spinning around and laughing in the rain. It was chaotic and mortifying and glorious.

They could hear the music in their heads, keeping in time to their moving feet, their eyes never leaving the other’s gaze. It was like their hearts were connected, which unbeknownst to the two, they were. Their hearts beat the same, their breathing was the same, and soon, their lips were doing the same, meeting each other’s. The kiss sealed their fates, together as one, until the end. 

Neither of them even thought to look down at the words that decorated their arms, now glowing through the layers of soaked material.

They were doomed. Doomed to love, and doomed to die. Either way, they were doomed together.


	11. Chapter 11

The next day came swiftly and it was, to say the least, frustrating for Frank. Normally, he would’ve been happy to get out of the house and away from his mother, but today, he was not. 

Because today, Gerard pretended like their kiss never happened.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Gerard commented, staring at Frank, who had set down his grilled cheese. 

“Wait, what? You seriously don’t remember.”

Gerard rubbed an eyeshadow covered eye, smudging a bit of the red as he looked at Frank with a confused expression. Of course, he remembered. He couldn’t stop thinking about it all night, the scene replaying over and over in his mind. But, of course, admitting that wasn’t as much fun as it was messing with Frank. He was quite the actor, whether he wanted to admit it or not. 

“Remember what? We just got our lunch, sat down and ate like usual. You said something about it being a thunderstorm outside and I said you were being a pussy and blah blah blah.”

“First of all, you’re the pussy. And second of all, we definitely ate outside. And played around in the rain.” Frank hesitated before the last sentence; If the kiss didn’t really happen, and it was really a dream, then that would just be embarrassing as fuck to admit. 

“No, we didn’t. We ate inside.”

“You’re an asshole, you know?”

“What? Why’re you saying that?”

“Because you are. And you’re pretending. I can tell.”

“I’m not pretending! Jesus, Frank. If anyone’s pretending, it’s you.”

Frank’s gaze darkened into a glare, and Gerard knew he’d hit a nerve. He had seen Frank upset, but he’d never seen Frank angry, and he had a feeling he didn’t want to. Although, Gerard being the dick that he actually is, he wanted to test it. Just how far could he go before he reached Frank’s limit? 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Whatever you want it t-”

Gerard didn’t quite finish his sentence, however, because he was now drenched in strawberry milk. Frank glared at him intensely and fuck, Gerard had to admit, it scared the fuck out of him. And turned him on a bit. But ANYWAY, Gerard stood up, walking out of the bathroom with strawberry rydenjuice dripping from his hair. This was most definitely bad for his bad boy aesthetic. Frank followed him to the bathroom, snickering as Gerard rinsed the mop of black hair he had in the sink.

“You deserved that, you know,” Frank commented, smirking at Gerard who only glared back. It was a playful glare though, one that Frank knew didn’t mean ‘I’m gonna murder you’, even though it looked like it. 

“You can throw milk at me all the time outside of school if you want but dude, you gotta stop ruining my aesthetic.”

“Your aesthetic?”

“Yeah! Everyone thinks I’m an edgy badass, not the kinda guy who kisses the cutest guy in school in the middle of a rainstorm.”

“AHA! YOU DO REMEMBER! And wait...you think I’m the cutest guy in school?”

“......maybe?”

“AWWWW! GEE! That’s adorable!” 

“Shut the fuck up, Frankie-” Gerard covered his mouth, realizing his mistake that he’d actually called the other Frankie, which just made things even worse.

“Frankie? Oh god, take me now, Gerard, please.” Frank fake-moaned, Gerard blushing bright red as Frank just laughed. 

“S-Shut it, Frankie.”

“Why don’t you make me, Gee~” Frank replied, sticking his tongue out. Gerard shut off the sink, shaking his hair out a bit before walking over to Frank, pressing his lips to Frank’s and ignoring the little squeak of surprise from the other. Gerard shifted his head a bit to the side, deepening the kiss a bit. Frank spun Gerard around so that he was against the wall and the kiss cotinued, the two only breaking for a quick breath before reconnecting their lips. 

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” Commented the voice of none other than Mikey Way, who had just so happened to walk in at an...interesting time. Gerard just blushed while Frank laughed hysterically, taking a step back and clutching his sides as they began to ache from the laughter. 

“Sorry, Mikey.”

“Well, hey, now this is payback for that one time with Pe-”

“NOT NOW, GERARD!”


	12. Chapter 12

“Good morning, Gerard,” Mikey mumbled to him, passing by his door that was open a crack. Gerard would have closed it like normal, but he was too fucking scared to move. This hadn’t happened much since he was a child, seeing as his father had taken a chill pill or two since then, and he had grown to be less afraid of Mr. Way, but now, that meant nothing. He just lay there, hugging himself around his waist and staring at...well, he didn’t even know what he was staring at. 

None of that really mattered, of course, because Donald Way had told Gerard to kill himself. 

He’d handed Gerard a shiny, freshly cleaned knife and screamed: “GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF, YOU FUCKING FAGGOT.” And of course, Gerard knew his father wasn’t sober when he’d said it, but it still stung. Just like the cuts now littering his entire body stung. It hurt to fucking breathe, they were so bad. So that’s what left him there, no tears left to cry, no emotions left to feel, no words left to mutter. Except for the moment he heard glass shattering downstairs. 

“YOU USELESS FREAK!” He heard yelled from downstairs and he instantly shot up, forgetting all the pain that racked his body. He bolted down the stairs, eyes scanning the scene before him. Mikey stood there, clutching his stomach and hunched over while their father screamed, pointing at the broken glass that covered the floor. 

“I-I’m sorry, Dad. I-It slipped-”

“I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT, FAG. CLEAN THIS FUCKING MESS UP, or do I need to BEAT IT INTO YOUR BRAIN?” Gerard sprinted over, slipping a bit on the clear liquid that had puddled on to the floor, but managing to regain his balance and stand in front of Mikey.

“Dad, stop. He’ll clean it up. Just leave him alone.”

“Don’t tell me what to...do.” Mr. Way replied, burping in the middle of his sentence. Gerard wanted to badly just to kick this drunken asshole out of the house or at least roll his eyes, but he knew he couldn’t. There was no point in wishing for things that will never come true.

“Relax. I’ll get you another drink while Mikey cleans this up.”

“Good fag.” Mr. Way waltzed out of the kitchen, moving to the connected dining room and plopping down on a chair. This seemed to be the family’s favorite routine; Donald getting drunk after work or just out of nowhere, his temper getting out of control, and his sons gaining more and more mental issues by the day as the result of it. It was simply what they did, almost like a family bonding activity minus the bonding and plus the trauma. This wasn’t what they used to be; They used to be happy, in fact. Donald Way was a kind, honest man. Donna Way was a happy, outgoing woman who would never just sit by and let people do what she knew as wrong. Mikey was young back then, the happiest little four-year-old with knock-knees in the world. Even though he couldn’t run like the other kids, he didn’t need to, because he had a older brother and parents that loved him just the way he was. Now, he only had the brother part of that. Even Gerard had been different. Sure, he had already been starting to notice he was different, specifically in the fact that he was fairly heavyset and more anxious than most kids his age, but it didn’t matter, because he had a family that loved him. 

If only that still applied. 

All of this ran through Gerard’s head as he handed his father a fresh bottle of vodka, which he’d purposefully pulled from the old stock. He said a silent prayer that the clear, entoxicating liquid inside would poison his father. Maybe his father dying would’t be the end of the world. 

X O X O X O X O X O X O X O X

“Faith, honey, it’s just a dress. Stop acting like it’ll kill you.” Frank stared down at the garment in his hands, shaking his head as tears welled up in his eyes. It was….not Frank, to say the least. It was a knee length white sundress, complete with frills and flowers galore. And it made Frank feel sick to the stomach even to see. 

“Y-Yes, it will. I’m not wearing that. I don’t care if it’s communion or anything like that.”

“What are you talking about? It won’t hurt you a bit!”

“Yes, mother, it will. I’m a boy. Boys don’t wear dresses.”

Mrs. Iero rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and glaring at the child she was begging to regret bringing into the world. “You’re not a boy, Faith. How many times do I need to remind you?”

Frank gritted his teeth, glaring right back at her with an angry fire burning behind his eyes. “My name is Frank, not Fath. And I am a boy.”

“No. You’re. Not.”

“Yes. I. Am.”

“You know what? Fuck this, you ungrateful little twat. I buy you nice clothes and all I get is shit for it! Guess what? You’re a dick, Faith.”

“You know what, Mom? I wish I had one.” He held up a middle finger to his mother, walking up the stairs to his home turf and leaving the fuming mother alone in the living room. Slamming the door behind him, he leaned against his door and took a deep breath. Jesus, it made his heart race. He’d been slapped once or twice before after a fight like this, and even now he could feel it, a phantom pain plaguing him. He was lucky he’d left when he did because she had the look in her eye he would’ve recognized anywhere. Even now, he felt his heartbeat speeding up a bit, fluttering in his chest like a bird trapped under a box. Or in a closet, which he could seriously relate to at the moment. 

God, he didn’t understand why things had to be like this. Why couldn’t he be normal? Why couldn’t things just be normal? Why couldn’t he have a mom who supported him and a dad that was actually worth anything and someone out there who actually cared about him. No one in his life gave two shits about him, or so he thought, and god, it just made him want to do idiotic things. He knew that wasn’t really what he should want to do, but that didn’t mean he still didn’t want to do them. 

‘God fucking damn it. The world would be fucking better off without me. No one gives a fuck and no one ever has and no one ever fucking will. Jesus fuck, I should just fucking off myself right now.’

Tears spilled down Frank’s cheeks at this point, his breathing becoming jagged and unsteady. But as the darkness clouded and pooled in his mind, something managed to push through the darkness. Well, it more so blended in with the darkness, except for the pale skin that graced his bones. The boy had dark, shoulder-length black hair, troubled hazel eyes, and a solid black trench coat that grazed the ground. Frank would have recognized the boy anywhere; it was the same boy that had been plaguing his mind since he arrived. And that boy’s smile was the one thing that shone through the darkness of Frank’s mind. It was at this moment that Frank decided. Decided that Gerard would be his angel of darkness, his flicker of light in a world full of shadows, his reason to keep going. Little did he know, Gerard now lie in bed, thinking exactly the same thing as him. 

 

Except, for Gerard, there was no boy in a black trench coat. No saving grace, no light in the darkness. In Gerard’s mind, he was alone.


	13. Chapter 13

“Hey, hot stuff,” Gerard commented, smirking at Frank who simply blushed behind the door of his locker.

“What do you want?”

“Prom’s coming up in a month or two, and I was thinking-”

“Gerard, you haven’t even taken me on a real date yet. Prom’s for couples and shit. And besides, I’m probably not even gonna go. It’s too….mainstream.”

 

“God, you’re such a scene kid.”

“What can I say? I’m always gonna be emo at heart.”

“Weirdo. A-”

“Says the one wearing a trenchcoat.”

“As I was saying, hang out instead then?”

“Yeah, I’m down. Where?”

“I dunno. Not my house again. That was bad. How about yours?”

“Sure!”

 

“See you then!” Gerard pecked Frank’s cheek gently, smiling and walking to his class, leaving Frank with the realization that he absolutely could not let Gerard see his house. His mother was a big fucking transphobic, who would call Frank Faith, and dear god, Frank’s room was definitely not that of what a cis boy’s would look like.

Well fuck.

X O X O X O X O X O X O

Luckily, when Gerard arrived at his house, Frank’s mother wasn’t home yet from work. He probably would’ve shot himself on the spot or something if she had been because he didn’t know if he could handle Gerard hearing his mother call him she. Hopefully, Gerard could leave before she got home too. The tall, trench coat-wearing friend looked out of place, to say the least, standing outside of Frank’s light green house, happily growing lawn full of flowers in pastel colors, and the equally happy-looking houses around. Frank only matched slightly, with his bright blue NASA hoodie, blue skinny jeans, and converse. Gerard stood out, and god, Frank loved it.

“Hey, hot stuff.” Frank greeted, winking and stepping aside to allow Gerard in. He walked in, grimacing, and kicked off his combat boots, setting them gently on a mat by the door.

“Don’t steal my line, dickhead.”

“Jesus. Love you too, man.”

 

“What happened to ‘We’re not even dating’?”

“I don’t know. What happened to ‘no homo’?”

“Please. I threw that shit out the window years ago.”

“Well, in that case, let me show you to my room.” Frank gestured to a staircase, Gerard raising an eyebrow at him as he walked up, Frank following him closely behind. 

“So what, is this a Fifty Shades of-”

“NO! No. I was just gonna suggest we hang out in my room in case my Mom gets home. She’s not exactly, the most...ugh. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Whatever, Frankie. We can hang out wherever you want.” Gerard smiled back at Frank from the top of the stairs, a tiny hint of actual human emotions appearing on his face. He looked genuinely happy, and his tone was sweet, and holy fuck, Frank might just be in love. “But seriously, is this where your collection of sex toys is?”

“Gerard, what about my personality makes you think I have a collection of sex toys?”

“I dunno. ‘Figured I’d ask.”

Frank walked up to the room at the end of the hall, kicking open the door that tended to get stuck, and revealing the horrors that lie inside; the room of a teenage girl, which was inhabited by a teenage boy. Most of the things just screamed Frank, actually, like the mountains of clothes all over the place, the Green Day posters on the walls, the ridiculous amount of CDs falling off of shelves. Although, some things didn’t match Frank, such as the oddly feminine teal wallpaper, the bureau with what appeared to be jewelry covering it, a few bras actually slung around on things, and a closet full of dresses. It was equally Frank and not Frank, which oddly worked for him. 

“Welcome to the room of my mother’s favorite Christian daughter.”

Gerard laughed, running in and jumping on Frank’s bed, making himself comfortable, just as Frank had did when he first entered the other’s room. The world has a way of making things come around. 

Anyway, enough with the foreshadowing. 

“So, on a scale of one to ten, how stereotypical religious-homophobe is your mom.”

“You don’t want to know.” Frank replied, sitting down on the end of his own bed, suddenly feeling like a stranger in the room he spent most of his days, often hiding from everything he hated just outside his door.

“Oh, but I think I do.”

“My birth name is Faith Marie.”

“.....Holy shit.”

“Yup.”

The two ended up settling on a movie, which just so happened to be X-Men; First Class (which Gerard insisted was the best X-Men, and Frank had to politely disagree (More like get in a heated verbal fight that ended in the two simply laughing and just continuing the movie.) ) Frank positioned himself to sit against the headboard, expecting Gerard to sit next next to him. But instead, Gerard sat between Frank’s legs, resting in Frank’s lap and he swore to god, if he had a dick, things would’ve gotten awkward really quickly. It was actually a quite comfortable position, and Gerard quickly fell asleep, cuddling up to Frank even more, who was praying that Gerard didn’t feel just how unflat his chest really was at the moment. But then again, who could worry about that, when the hottest guy was cuddled up in your lap?

Frank could, apparently.

And so could Frank’s mother, who just so happened to walk into the house and notice a pair of big, black combat boots that were definitely not her child’s.

“FAITH?” Frank sat up with a start, Gerard groaning in protest while he was jolted from his slumber.

“Uh, yeah Mum?” He called back, eyes flickering between the door and the sleeping teen in his lap.

“Who’s boots are these, honey?”

“Oh. Uh...Hold on.” Frank shook Gerard’s shoulder, dragging the other back into consciousness against his will. “Gerard, wake up. My mom’s home. You gotta look like you weren’t just cuddling me.”

“I wasn’t...cuddling you.” He replied sleepily, rubbing his eyes while completely oblivious to the fact his hair looked less like they’d been cuddling, more like they’d been fucking.

“Yes, you were. Now get up. Get ready to deal with an obnoxious amount of transphobia.” Frank ran his hands through Gerard’s knotted hair, who mumbled a soft ‘ow’ as he did, and stood up, jumping off the bed and opening the door. “Oh, and try not to be really gay around her.”

“Frank, you’re asking the impossible.”

Frank exited the room, Gerard following soon after, a calm yet still sleepy smile on his face. Frank’s mom stood at the bottom of the stairs, hands on her hips, and boy, did she go straight from upset to confused as hell when a boy WAY taller than her kid walked down the stairs right after.

“Mom, this is my friend, Gerard. Gerard, this is my mom. I invited him over to work on a project we have for art and-”

“Oh Faith! You don’t have to give me the whole ‘we were studying’ act.” Mrs. Iero wrapped her child in a hug, Frank raising an eyebrow as she did so. “I’m so proud of you! You finally got a boyfriend!”

“WHAT?” Frank pulled away from the hug, blushing like crazy. Gerard only laughed, both of the shorter two in the room looking over at him.

“No, Mrs. Iero. We’re not dating. Don’t worry. Your child isn’t my type.”

“Ohh. Are you gay or something?” 

She didn’t seem to ask it in a malicious way, so Gerard replied with the simple “Yes.”

“Oh! Then that’s okay! Sorry for assuming you two were dating! Make yourself at home….Jared?”

“Gerard. And thank you, Ma’am.”

Frank shot Gerard a ‘you-fucking-suck-up’ look and Gerard simply shrugged, Mrs. Iero walking into the kitchen and pulling out a pan.

“Are you staying for dinner? I’m making Faith’s favorite; Spaghetti with extra oregano.”

“N-”

“Oh sure, Mrs. Iero. I’d love to!”

“Alrighty! You two can finish studying and I’ll call you down when it’s done.”

Frank rushed upstairs, pulling Gerard by the hand and slamming the door behind him.

“What the hell? Why do you get to be gay but I’m not allowed to be trans? How the fuck does that work?”

“I don’t know, Frank. I’m just a parent charmer, I suppose.”

“Jesus fuck, I hate you. Now kiss me.”


	14. Chapter 14

“KIDS! DINNER!” Mrs. Iero called, setting the table for herself as well as the two teenagers, who were borderline adults and really were more so than kids. Frank walked down first, baggy hoodie that his mother hated on as usual with Gerard close behind. His hair was a bit messed up, but she tried not to pay too much attention to it. They couldn’t have been kissing, after all, because Gerard was gay….right? Whatever the case, Linda Iero did not want to try and wrap her head around it. 

“Oh! I completely forgot to ask! Do you have any allergies, Gerard?” 

“Nope! Well, cats, but it appears as though you don’t have any.”

“Thank goodness!” The boys sat down next to each other on one side of the table, Linda sitting down on the other side in an almost symbolic way; The starcrossed best friends on one side, the naysayer on the other. 

They are mostly in silence afterwards, as a typical dysfunctional family does. Frank’s mother threw a few conversation starters out there, but neither of the teens took the bait. Until, of course, Mrs. Iero finally figured out a ‘good’ conversation topic. And of course, what was ‘good’ in her brain probably ruined the entire night more than it was already.

“So, do you have a boyfriend, Gerard?” Frank nearly spit out his spaghetti at that point because holy shit, she was not asking this right now.

“No, actually. I’m single.”

“Really? Well, I would try to set up you and Faith, but I understand she’s not your...biological type.”

“Shut up, mom.” Frank mumbled through gritted teeth, glaring at the woman.

“Well actually, he’s the most attractive female I’ve ever met.”

“She’s. Not he’s, she’s.”

“No, I meant ‘he’s’.”

“My daughter isn’t some tranny. Don’t call her one.”

“Shut up, mom.” Frank growled this time, clenching his fist around his fork.

“Your son is a tranny, Mrs. Iero. And I think I ought to be going now.” Gerard stood up, setting down his utensils and approaching the door. “And I think I should take my boyfriend with me too. You coming, Frank?”

Frank stood up and walked over to the door, putting as his shoes as Gerard did as well. Mrs. Iero made something close to the windows error noise as the two boys left. She could never have expected this to happen, not in this Catholic household. 

Meanwhile, the two were walking back to Gerard’s house, the early sunset over the skyline lighting their way with brash shades of oranges and reds and yellows. The sky looked like it was on fire, and god, that’s how Frank’s heart felt. 

“So, just as I thought, your Mother actually is the epitome of a Christian transphobe.”

“Actually, we’re Catholic, but that doesn’t even really make a difference. She’s still an asshat.”

“Agreed.”

A few beats of silence passed, Frank staring at the sunset as they walked, and Gerard staring at Frank’s perfect, well, everything. Feeling a little brave, Frank held his hand out to Gerard to hold, moving his gaze to their hands, which Gerard joined, weaving their fingers together. It felt...right. Even though they weren’t together, it still felt great; The magic of a shooting star, only feeling that every time you meet someone’s eyes. That’s what they felt. Even though there were shadows all around, both figuratively and literally, they were still there for each other, through the dark uncertainty. 

Gerard’s house came around quickly, and they paused just outside, Gerard smirking a bit down at the much shorter boy as he began to speak.

“So, I guess it’s my stop.”

“Yeah. I guess it is.”

“Do I get a kiss goodnight, or…?”

“Well first, I want to know. What you said back there, a-about me being your boyfriend….Did you really mean it?”

 

“Did you just stutte-”

“Answer the goddamn question, Way.”

“No, I guess. Not really.”

“Oh…”

“Frank, please. You wish you could tap this.”

“W- Hey, isn’t that my line?”

Gerard only laughed, making a show of bending over to kiss Frank on the forehead. “Good night, funsize.”

Frank growled as Gerard ran towards his house, still laughing at the shorter of the two who was now yelling across the yard. “I’LL SHOW YOU FUNSIZE, BITCH.” But alas, it was all in vein, because Gerard was already inside, still laughing as he made his way up to his room and watched as Frank stormed off back to his house. Cute.

Only now, Gerard felt a dropping feeling in his stomach, because whether or not he meant to, he just turned down the boy of his dreams. 

 

Frank had asked if they were together, and he said no.

And just like that, Gerard felt like the biggest idiot in the world. How the hell could he have just said ‘no’ like he meant it? Because he sure as hell didn’t mean it. He’d been crushing on Frank for months, even before they’d started talking, and he just said no? Contradictory to popular belief, Gerard is a fucking idiot. Actually, maybe not contradictory. It was pretty obvious to anyone who knew him well enough. He’s an idiot, alright; A gay, hopeless idiot who just rejected the boy he’s in love with. 

Now, if it wasn’t getting dark and he didn’t fear waking up his alcoholic father, he probably would’ve been screaming some string of curses.

Good thing he has no regard for that shit.

 

“FUCKING FUCK I’M A FUCKING IDIOT HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK-” He yelled, grabbing a pillow and just screaming his frustration out until his throat felt like glass ready to break. And then he screamed some more, because there’s no time like the present to ruin yourself. It was better than cutting himself or any of the shit he normally did to get out his frustrations, but it still hurt. Yet somehow, even though this was technically self-harm, cutting wasn’t on his mind. 

Huh.

Funny.

Frank had that effect on him. Loving that boy took away his pain, and simultaneously made it worse; Constantly built him up and demolished his heart, whether he meant to or not. Whether loving Frank would end up breaking him or healing him, he didn’t know, but one thing was certain: He most definitely needed to make it up to Frank, because goddamnit, he needed Frank, even if Frank didn’t need him.


	15. Chapter 15

The instance with Frank’s mother left him grounded, no leaving the house, no phone (a.k.a. No fanfic) and no Gee. But that wouldn’t stop Frank, of course. Nothing could, not even fate itself. Which is what brings us to a few minutes ago, when Gee ran out of their house to escape their father’s anger, down the street until they couldn’t run anymore. Which, coincidentally, was right around Frank’s house. The sun was just rising, the hands on the clock just hardly scraping six, and Gee doubted that Frank would be up, but the light on in the upper window of Frank’s house told him otherwise. Frank had been up since three, furiously scribbling down some lyrics that had been floating around in his head for hours. His guitar had been taken, which he hardly played these days anyway; the sound of his voice drove him nuts. It made him want to rip his fucking vocal cords out, so hence why music didn’t seem like an option. Grabbing a pebble from Frank’s gravelled sidewalk, Gee threw it at the window as hard as they could, which wasn’t very hard. They was a bit weak from not eating for a while, and they could really feel the limitations growing stronger, but the moment two gorgeous hazel eyes peered out the window at him, they forgot every single bit of it. 

“Hey, beautiful.” Gee commented, winking at Frank, who only raised an eyebrow at him.

“Bitch, what the fuck are you doing at my house? It’s six am.”

“Actually, it’s six ‘o two. I was on a morning run. What exactly are you doing up at this fine hour?”

“You were running in combat boots?” Gee looked down at their boots and silently cursed to himself. They’d fallen asleep in that outfit last night, so it’s not like they had time to change when their father was screaming at him. “Bullshit. But I was up writing, for your information.”

Gee paused before replying, biting their lip for a moment before looking up at Frank with squinted eyes from the sun. “You wanna get out of here?”

“Fuck yeah. Hold on.”

Frank retreated into the room, grabbing a sweatshirt and locking his door before climbing out the window, closing it silently behind him. From there, he jumped on top of a shed and down on to the ground, walking over to Gee and bowing as the other applauded. 

“That was kind of impressive.”

“Only took eight years, but I’ve been sneaking out like that since I figured it out.” A pause. “So, where are we going?”

“I was thinking a movie. You in?”

“Only if it’s good.”

“Oh don’t worry. I’ve got one in mind.”

 

Frank found out once they got to the movie theater that Gee’s idea of a ‘good movie’ was a cheesy romance. They had bought some popcorn and candy, which Frank was currently shoveling into his mouth, as was Gee, in true teenage-boys fashion. The straight couple™ on the big screen exchanged some cheesy dialogue and kissed, Gee making a soft ‘Awww’ noise while Frank gagged.

“What? I think that’s cute!”

“You, the edge lord I-drink-tears-of-children, think that’s cute?”

“Yup.”

“Nasty.”

“I personally love it, so shut up.”

“It’s so...straight though.”

“Want me to fix that?”

“Oh please, go ahead.”

Gee turned to Frank, setting down the popcorn and tucking their hair behind their ear. They gave Frank their best glisten-eyes, pretty boy look and smiled softly. “I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.” 

Frank snorted, laughing and blushing like crazy. “Alright, Augustus.”

“Did I woo you?”

“Depends; are you gonna kiss me?”

“Depends.”

“Hm.”

“Depends on if you can tell me what this movie is called.”

 

“It’s...uh….constellation error….or something. Yeah. Constellation Error.”

“Nice try. No kiss for you.” 

“What? Come on. Please?”

 

“Nope.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup.”

“Seriously seriously?”

 

“Nope. Kiss me, nerd.” Frank cupped his hand around Frank’s cheek, bringing the other’s face to his as he pressed his lips to Gee’s. It was like someone took a sledge hammer to Frank’s heart over and over, because it was beating like crazy as he gently moved his lips against the other’s. Gee’s breath caught in their throat, their heart practically stopping at the contact. It felt amazing, even if they knew other people were staring in disgust. Fuck them; They were kissing, and they were enjoying it, and even if they weren’t together, they were happy together. Frank had completely forgotten about the movie, as had Gee, and before they knew it, it was over. They had pulled away from each other a while ago, but the kiss still lingered on their lips, electricity crackling from where the other had so recently been. 

 

The walk home was silent, up until they were outside of Gee’s house. They sighed softly, staring hesitantly at the prison of a house they knew they’d have to enter soon. “So, what are we, exactly?”

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, we’re not dating, but that was kind of a date, and-”

 

“You said it yourself, Gee. We’re not dating.”

“Well, I mean, we could. If you wanted.”

 

Frank looked off into the distance, sighing too and absentmindedly scratching at his arm with the opposite hand. God, he just wanted to peel off all his skin and show who he was underneath; A good enough boyfriend for Gee, one who was cisgender and confident and happy. But unfortunately, that wasn’t possible. “Yeah, we could. But I wouldn’t be able to make you happy.”

“You make me happy now, Frankie.”

“Hmm. Let’s see about that once I’m not grounded.” And with a wink and a smirk, Frank was off, reducing Gee to a blushing, wow-I’m-gay mess.


	16. Chapter 16

“I hate you!” Gerard exclaimed, Frank giggling as he attempted to pull a piece of gum off the end of his hair.

“You don’t mean that.” Frank replied, smirking at Gerard who just growled.

“Yes, I do. You ruined my hair!” 

“Just cut it out. It isn’t the end of the world, unless you’re a disney princess.”

“I AM A DISNEY PRINCESS!”

“Oh. I guess I’m straight then.”

“You? Straight? That’ll be the day I die.”

“Calm down, drama queen.”

“That’s drama princess to you!””

“Whatever.”

Giving up, Gerard simply sighed and pulled some scissors out of his bag, quickly swiping off some dried blood before Frank saw. He lined up the scissors lazily and chopped off the hair, feeling a piece of his heart die as he did. The chopped off piece fell into his eyes, covering one completely and looking incredibly out of place with just how short it was. “Jesus, now I look like an emo.”

“Weren’t you always an emo?”

“What happened to Disney Princess?”

“I’m an emo Disney Princess now, I guess.” Gerard paused, biting on his lip nervously for a moment before continuing. “Speaking of princess, wanna take this princess to prom?” 

Frank didn’t respond right away. Was Gerard serious? Like, actually serious? He didn’t know, and there was still a voice at the back of his mind screaming ‘THIS IS A SET UP’, but he silenced the voice and went with the safe response; “Are you serious?”

“Yes. Why, i-is that a problem?” 

 

“Nope. Just wanted to check. And your stutter is adorable, by the way.”

“Shut...shut up.”

“You’ll have to make me.” And Gerard did, silencing Frank with a kiss as Mikey gagged audibly, him and his...friend Pete being unlucky enough to be across from them as they sat on the patio. Unfortunately for Pete and Mikey, they would be seeing a lot more of that soon. Well, it’s not like they don’t do that too. Just...not in front of anyone else. 

X O X O X O X O 

Prom was supposed to be happy. Prom was supposed to be a part. Prom was supposed to be one of the best times of your life, but alas, today, Frank was sobbing. He was sobbing while staring at himself in the mirror, black satin hugging close to his body, covered by a sheer layer of tulle, which gave the garment volume and shape, as well as feminized it even more. Due to Frank’s height, the front ended around his knees, while the longer back dusted the floor. It was a dress that he was wearing, and it was beautiful, all except for the fact that he was wearing it. And dear god, he wanted to rip it off. He wanted to scream and tear the fabric apart, thread by thread. He wanted to set fire to it, and let it melt off his bones with his skin. He wanted to rip off his skin, tainted by the dress, and just be nothing. 

But of course, he couldn’t do any of that, because his mother was standing right there, hands on his exposed shoulders with a smile on her face.

“You look beautiful, Faith.” She commented, tears welling up in Frank’s eyes and making his eyeliner run.

X O X O X O X O X O

 

“Hey Fr- oh my god.” Gerard opened the door, red tie askew and black vest open, not yet covering his white dress shirt. Frank stood before him at his doorstep, eyeliner running down his cheeks and dress looking as unnatural on him as ever.

“H-Hi.” Frank stuttered out, sniffling as Gerard wrapped his arms around the smaller, clearly uncomfortable boy. 

 

“What are you doing in that? It looks terrible on you.”

“I know, dumbass. My mother made me wear it.” Gerard stepped back, taking a look at Frank’s figure. The dress itself had an elastic ring around the midsection through the hips, allowing room for diverse body types (some women are thicc, and Frank may not be, but that’s okay). 

“Want me to wear it?”

“Sorry, what now?”

“I asked if you want me to wear it. It should fit me. You can wear my suit.”

“You’re not joking, right?”

“Nope.”

“Then yes. Abso-fucking-lutely, yes.”

Gerard motioned for Frank to enter the house and the two went upstairs, Frank waving at Mikey as they passed and slammed the door behind them. With a few makeup wipes, blushing and looking away and a few words of reassurance, the two were off on their way to the prom, Mikey walking closely behind. Frank looked snazzy in his tie and vest, everything a bit oversized; It didn’t look bad, though. It looked surprisingly good. Mikey wore a similar outfit, only in blue with a suit jacket on. But Gerard, holy fuck. He was rocking the dress, the trench coat he usually wore over it, red eyeshadow and a matching ribbon adding a flash of color to the otherwise grieving outfit. He looked fucking hot, and Frank couldn’t help but smile. They made it look so much better than he had, and they were actually enjoying it. 

The trio had one stop to make before the prom, and Mikey diverged from the sidewalk once they arrived, the two stopping and waiting. He knocked on the door, and out came none other than Pete Wentz, grinning in a silver suit. He greeted Mikey with a kiss, Gerard making mock-gagging noises now and Frank snickering. 

“Hey there, Mikeyway- Is Gerard wearing a dress?”

“Yup.” Gerard answered, grinning proudly. It was that smile that could melt Frank’s heart, and he knew it at that moment that goddamnit, he loved Gerard with all his heart. And he was the one Frank wanted to spend all his time with, to smile with and to kiss and to love. He wanted to be Gerard’s boyfriend. Maybe tonight was a good time. For now, Frank was just focused on how fucking amazing Gerard’s ass looked in that dress.


	17. Chapter 17

By the time they arrived, the party had already started. Pete made a dive directly for the punch, knowing it would be spiked, and Mikey ran after him shouting curses over the pounding music. The two star-crossed best friends only laughed and waded through the crowds, pushing through all the students attempting to grind on each other. Teenagers; the nastiest, loudest, scariest generation on this earth. The two of them held each other’s hand and essentially sprinted to the back wall, laughing the whole time.

“Jesus fuck!” Frank yelled over the beat, Gerard still laughing, well more like cackling at this point. 

“Oh my god. What the fuck even is this?” 

“I have no idea. I’ve never even heard this song before.” Frank listened for a moment, trying to piece the words together. Something about horses and hotel rooms; you know, weird-ass shit. “Sounds fucking terrible.”

“Isn’t that what prom is, though? Shitty music, spiked punch and grinding.” 

“Amen.”

“Wait does that mea-”

“No, you can’t fucking grind on me, weirdo.”

“Just checking.” Gerard punctuated his sentence with a wink, making Frank blush a little bit. In an attempt to get the focus off himself, he gazed over to the punch bowl and covered his mouth in an attempt not to outright cackle. Brendon Urie, the most flamboyant pansexual in the grade was standing over the punch, flask in hand and pan pride flag draped over his shoulders. He was currently dumping the clear liquid into the drink, a boy who Frank recognized as Ryan (who Gerard recognized as the kid he’d doodled all over during detention) currently trying to stop him. Ryan himself had a rainbow tie on and a rainbow painted onto his cheek, but that was about as flamboyant as he got. The two were an unlikely match, but when Ryan pressed his lips to Brendon, he dropped the flask and gave all his attention to Ryan, gently cupping his cheeks as they showed each other their love; Frank knew they were right for each other then and there. The moment was quickly spoiled by two classmates, Josh and Tyler as Frank presumed, who fell over on top of the two. What a time to be alive. 

When Frank turned back to Gerard, the other had started swaying a bit to the beat, the dress swishing around his thighs ever so slightly. It had come up to Frank’s knees, and the height difference between the two had quite an effect on where the dress landed, but Gerard didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he almost looked like he was having a good time. Gerard stopped, however, when he saw Frank staring. 

“What? It’s kind of a good beat.” Frank smiled at that, walking over and taking Gerard’s hand in his, spinning the other around. The two shared a few giggles as they continued to dance. They looked like total dorks, of course, but they were dorks together. Song after song passed by, people left, someone tore the disco ball down by hanging on it, but they still danced together, forgetting the world around them as they just had fun. Like normal teenagers. And in that moment, they felt normal, even though the hem of Gerard’s dress kept flashing the bottom of his boxers and Frank’s chest was slightly fuller than usual. The two of them danced in their organized chaos, reveling in the world falling apart around them. They were demolition lovers, and they planned on dancing until the world burned. Well, they had to stop eventually, since Frank’s lungs were unhappy at the end of the fifth song. It just so happened to be a slow song that came on. Gerard grinned like an idiot, pointing up to the ceiling while Frank just rolled his eyes. 

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yessss.”

“Maybe.”

“No.”

“Yes. WAIT. SHIT. GERARD-” Gerard snickered, pulling Frank close to his chest as the other grumbled swears in a language didn’t recognize.

“Shut it. You love me.”

“Vaffanculo.”

 

“What is that, Spanish?”

“It’s Italian, idiot. And it means fuck off.”

“Ooh. Sexy.”

“You’re fuckin’ weird.”

“You know it.” Gerard kissed the top of Frank’s head as he slid his hand into Frank’s, intertwining their fingers and placing his hand on Frank’s shoulder. Frank instinctively put his free hand on Gerard’s waist and blushed a bit, regardless of the fact they’d very much done this before. They danced in silence for a while, their eyes locked the entire time. The soft pink, purple and blue lights reflected stunningly in Gerard’s eyes, Frank’s eyes darkened to a coal-black by the hair that shielded them from the light. 

“You’re beautiful. You know that, right?”

“Frank, that’s gay.”

“And your point is?” Gerard snickered, blowing a piece of hair out of his eyes before continuing.

“I don’t know where I was going with that. I think it was a vine reference that tried to escape from my subconscious.”

“Oh! I think I remember the one you’re talking about.” Frank thought for a moment before saying “I reckon that dress makes you look a bit gay.”

“Well, I reckon that tux makes you look a little bit cute.” The two giggled, their laughter sounding through the fairly silent gymnasium, though they quickly fell silent after around 200 pairs of eyes all shushed them with their gaze. 

“Hmm. This is nice. I mean, I’d prefer it if it were raining, but still.”

“Yeah, same.”

“I wonder if everyone thinks we’re dating.”

“Well, you told my mom we were dating and she believed it, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what everyone else thought as well.”

“We could be, you know?”

“We could?”

“Mhm.”

“What happened to when I asked you what we were the last time?”

“I dunno.” Gerard met Frank’s eyes, worry shining through the hazel orbs surrounded by eyeshadow. In that moment, he looked genuinely frightened, as if he would shatter everything around him with one false step. “I’m so scared of hurting you, Frank. You’re absolutely amazing, and I love you, but I-I just…”

“Hey. It’s alright. I love you too.” Frank stood on his tippy toes and kissed Gerard for a moment before pulling away, smirking ever so slightly. “And you’re not gonna break me.” Gerard grinned, taking a deep and shaky breath before clearing his throat.

“Well in that case, Frank I-don’t-know-your-middle-name Iero, will you be my boyfriend?”

“It’s Anthony Thomas, like my Grandpa. And yes, I will.” He giggled and pulled Gerard into another kiss, hearing some applause rise from a small crowd they hadn’t realized formed around him. Gerard broke the kiss for a moment to laugh, pressing his lips against Frank’s right after. The few people dispersed, except for the few people Gerard recognized: Mikey and Pete, who were both snickering to each other, Pete’s aromantic, ball of fluff friend Patrick who was snickering along with them; Brendon and Ryan, where Brendon was completely and utterly fanboying over the two of them and Ryan just looked done for the day and Tyler, who was currently carrying Josh on his back. The only person who didn’t look happy to be there, of course, was Ray, who was clearly upset Frank had been blowing him off this whole time.

“Dude, what the fuck did I just witness?” Ray asked, taking a step towards Frank as Gerard stepped back.

“What do you mean?”

“The...the freak just asked you out.”

 

“Ray, I know you don’t mean that. Just-” Gerard cleared his throat, making the other two fall silent as he held his hand out to Ray.

“My name’s Gerard, if you would kindly stop calling me ‘The Freak’. And from what I’ve heard, you’re a really nice dude, so I would appreciate it if you got to know me before you assume I’m going to bite your head off.”

Ray cautiously shook his hand, giving Gerard a strange look as the other only smiled. “That’s a sick Metallica bracelet, by the way,” Gerard commented and Ray smiled a bit, running a hand through his wild afro and smiling a bit.

“Oh yeah. They’re my favorite. Well, besides Queen and Led Zeppelin and Nirvana.” Gerard laughed and the two of them began to obsess over music, Frank only smiling as the two halves of his world collided, melding into one peacefully.


	18. Chapter 18

“Are you done yet?”

 

“Sit still, you gay fuck.”

“Hey! Don’t call me that.”

“I’m your boyfriend. I think I’m allowed.”

“Fine. Just hurry.”

Gee stuck their tongue out of the side of their mouth, concentrating as they brushed their oddly-shaped charcoal pencil across the page. They had decided to give charcoal drawings a chance since nothing else had really worked when it came to drawing Frank. Every time Gee attempted to draw him, it always came out...wrong. Either the eyes were too far apart, or the chin was too round, or the whole piece just bothered him. A lot of their art was like that for them, and this piece wasn’t exempt from that, because they simply growled and crumpled it up, shoving the paper in their pocket.

“Does this mean I can move yet?”

“Nope.” Gee walked over and pressed their lips to Frank’s in a soft, sweet kiss, smiling a bit into it as they heard noises of disgust or disgruntlement rising from the rest of the art class. “Love you.” They pulled away for a moment to say it, Frank pecking the other’s lips and giggling quietly. 

“Love you too.”

 

“Get a room!” Someone called from somewhere in the classroom. Frank blushed a bit and climbed down from the stool he was sitting on, brushing his hair back into place with his left hand. Gee rolled their eyes and sat down on the floor of the little alcove, leaning against the cabinets full of paint and other mischievious supplies. Frank shrugged and sat down next to them, board in hand and paper taped to it, accompanied by some pencils and a putty eraser. 

“You should teach me how to draw.”

“You’d be better suited learning from the actual teacher, not some imbecile covered in charcoal.”

“Not that using big words isn’t sexy, but I need you to use plain English.”

“I’m not good enough to teach you.”

 

“Sure you are! Just pretend you’re teaching a baby or something.”

“Wha- I-” They attempted to string an excuse together for a moment, sighing and finally surrendering. “Alright. You wanna draw a person?”

 

“Mhm!”

“Alright. First, you gotta start with a circle.” Frank sketched out a circle, pressing very lightly and moving the pencil across the sheet gently. 

“Okay, now what?” Gee swept a piece of their long, messy, black hair out of their face, their beautifully troubled hazel eyes staring at Frank’s circle proudly. It was just a circle, sure, but they were proud nonetheless. They were just proud of Frank in general, actually. He was so sweet after everyone treated him like shit, even him at first, and yet he still wasn’t as broken as Gee. He knew how to heal, which was gorgeous. 

“Alright. Assuming it’s a front view, You’re gonna mark down a third of the height of the circle underneath it and make a little flat mark. Are you trying to draw a male or female?”

 

“Neither. I’m drawing a ‘they’, dumb-dumb.” Gee blushed a bit and cleared his throat, continuing with the instructions.

“Okay. Um, men’s chins are usually flatter and broader, while women’s are usually thinner and pointier. If you wanna draw it somewhere in the middle, that’s fine.” Frank peered up at Gee for a moment before looking back down at his paper, making a little mark just as Gee had said. “Okay. Now, you’re gonna draw a diagonal line on either side of the circle around two-thirds of the way down, and then another diagonal line connecting the chin to the previous line.” Frank did as Gee said, clearly trying his best even though the lines were squiggly and were clearly the work of an amateur. He knew art wasn’t his thing, but it very much was Gee’s, and he felt oddly compelled to impress the other. If not impress, then at least be able to show he tried. “Okay, now for the eyes. You’re gonna find the middle of the head and draw two little arches. Not McDonald’s arches-height, but, like, little arches, you know?”

“Nope, but I’m gonna wing it.”

“That usually doesn’t work in art.”

“Isn’t art subjective?”

“More like subject to criticism 24/7, but do what you want, man.” Frank looked up at Gerard again and scrunched up his nose, trying to focus as he sketched out the little lines, slowly forming facial features. He tried his best, of course, but it was hard to capture the complete beauty Gee held in their eyes, the way their hair fell perfectly in disarray, their incredibly soft lips always seemed so...perfect. Everything about them was perfect, and it honestly stumped Frank. He couldn’t even try to get it on paper just how much he loved them, and how much he just wanted to kiss them until he couldn’t anymore. 

He looked up at Gee again, smirking and pressing his lips to the other’s, tilting his head a bit to deepen the kiss that relayed through their hearts like a telegraph, sharing beats back and forth. Gee fought the urge to continue, pulling away for a moment before asking “What was that for?”

 

“I dunno. I was trying to create a masterpiece, but I realized I have one right in front of me.”

 

“How high are you?”

 

“No, it’s ‘hi, how are you?’” The two of them shared a snicker, the rest of the class groaning quietly at just how un-single the two were, unlike majority of the other students. Frank moved the board from his lap and Gee replaced it, curling up into a ball even though only about from their head to the middle of their back fit across Frank’s lap. The smaller boy blushed a bit, lifting up his arms and not quite knowing what to do with them. What are you supposed to do with your arms if your partner curls up on your lap? In his little momentary freak out, Gee took one of his hands and intertwined their fingers with his, smiling softly as Frank visibly calmed down.

“So, you think I had a future in art?” He asked, Gee looking over at the little sketch for a moment before grinning up at Frank.

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

“Liar.”

 

“I’m serious! It’s good!”

“I’d much rather make music, to be honest. Although me hating the sound of my own voice might be a slight problem.”

 

“Well, once you get out of here, you can always get hormones and then your voice’ll get deep and then you’ll sound sexier than you already do, and-”

“Gee, shut it.”

“No u.”

“Did you just-”

“I said ‘no u’!” Frank rolled his eyes and Gee simply pressed a kiss to his lips, smirking into the soft kiss. And oddly enough, Frank could’ve sworn he felt his wrists tingling a bit, but he pushed it out of his mind and just enjoyed the small but comforting contact.


	19. Chapter 19

The two were eating lunch on the patio once again, the sky shining happily today instead of crying all over the place. Birds sang, squirrels ran across the grass happily and leaves rustled gently in the breeze. It was peaceful. It was calm. It was….nice. Too nice, almost. Gerard had been apprehensive all morning; the feeling that something would go wrong had been haunting him all day. He’d begun the day by slicing his wrists open, carefully avoiding his words as usual. To be quite honest, where the ink decorated his skin was the only place that was generally scar-free. He had marks everywhere, half from him and half otherwise, and to be brutally honest, he was starting to get really sick of them. 

Frank, on the other hand, was actually enjoying the day. His mother hadn’t said a word to him, which he couldn’t care less about, he’d packed himself a good lunch that he actually wanted to eat, he’d gotten all good grades- Today was looking up for him! He noticed Gerard didn’t quite feel the same, so that’s what brought them to what they were doing, Gerard cuddling up to Frank as he spoon-fed Gerard some of his mac-n-cheese. He really didn’t mind sharing his lunch, as long as it meant Gerard would actually eat. 

Now that Frank had gotten to thinking, Gerard really did have a lot of unhealthy habits. He was never eating whenever Frank was around, which was concerning enough on his own, and Frank knew Gerard never slept. He often came in with a black eye or a random scratch too, which Frank knew better than to question, but it still worried him. All this worrying made him sound like a mother or some shit, which made Frank feel oddly dysphoric, but he pushed that aside; This was about Gerard, not him, and he needed to focus on that.

Focus, Frank.

Frank?

“Frank?” Gerard asked, looking up at his boyfriend, who had frozen mid-bite. Frank snapped out of his little disassociation session, looking down at the spoonful of food and shoving it into Gerard’s mouth. The other yelped in surprise, but swallowed it quickly. 

“Sorry. ‘S just thinking.”

“It’s okay, baby.”

“Is it, though?” 

“Y-Yeah?” Why wouldn’t it be?”

Frank looked down at Gerard, who was clearly puzzled by Frank’s suddenly darkened outlook. “Hold my hand.”

“Wha-”

“Just do it.” Gerard laced his fingers together with Frank’s, the other looking clearly more relaxed as he continued. “Why do you always wear long sleeves?” Gerard turned away a bit, not wanting to make eye contact. He was wearing his favorite jacket today, which happened to be a black trench coat, and even under that, he was wearing long sleeves and jeans without rips in them. Frank had noticed him constantly covering up.

“Because I can.” He answered bluntly, still not looking at Frank; He didn’t want to see the disappointed look in Frank’s eyes. 

“Why would you want to?”

“Because.”

“That’s not a valid answer, Gerard.”

“Fuck valid answers.”

“What are you hiding?”

“Wha- I- Nothing!” Gerard stuttered out, raising his voice in frustration, but still refusing to look at Frank. Pain flared across his arm as Frank grabbed his wrist, tears welling up in the other’s eyes as he rolled up Gerard’s jacket sleeve. He hesitated, but he pushed up Gerard’s monochrome-striped sleeve in silence. Gerard winced, waiting for a slap to his arms, or his face, or yelling, or anything, really, but it didn’t come. He told himself over and over not to look up, over at Frank, but he did anyway. Frank was choking back sobs, a hand clutched over his mouth while the other still held Gerard’s wrist firmly. Cuts littered Gerard’s pale skin, clearly fresh from the dried blood that largely contrasted the soft, eggshell color of the other’s skin. Frank could see countless purple marks where old cuts had scarred over, just to be replaced by new ones. “Don’t-” Gerard started, but Frank cut him off before he could get any further.

“Oh my god.”

“Fra-”

“Oh my god.”

“Please st-”

“Oh. My. God.”Gerard finally stopped trying to interrupt this time, looking away from the forest-colored, tear speckled eyes that he usually loved to look at. “Gerard, why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’?”

“Why would you do this?”

“Beca-”

“Is your other arm like this?” Gerard nodded somberly, still looking away from Frank. He didn’t have a choice for much longer, though, because Frank grabbed his chin and turned Gerard’s face towards him, forcing the two of them to connect their gazes. “Tell me why you did it.”

“No.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell me, goddamnit!” Tears were running down Frank’s face at this point, and it hurt Gerard so much to look. It was such a simple thing, looking at Frank, telling him that he hated himself with a burning passion, explaining to Frank why he loved to hurt himself so, but it seemed impossible. “All I want to do is help you. I love you with all my heart, and I just want to understand.”

“You could never understand, Frank.” Gerard snapped, pulling his arm away from Frank and holding it to his chest. He wasn’t used to his arms being exposed, the cuts meeting the fresh air angrily, the words seared into his skin showing; He felt exposed like this, even though it was only one of his arms. 

“So what, I’m an idiot or something?” Frank moved away from Gerard, not standing up yet, but enough that Gerard was no longer touching him. 

“No, I don’t mean that-”

“Yeah, I think you do.” 

 

“I don’t, Frankie, I-”

 

“Don’t ‘Frankie’ me! Jesus Christ, Gerard! You’ve been cutting open your own wrists and you keep talking like it’s no big-fucking-deal! It’s a big fucking deal, Gerard.”

“Frank, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down!”

“You need to. I can’t explain anything when you’re losing your shit.”

 

“Oh my god, you are so annoying. Jesus fuck, Gerard.”

 

“Annoying? What do you me-”

“You’re telling me to calm down? You could’ve died, Gerard. Died. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else, including myself, and you’re just treating this like...like it’s no big deal.”

“But it is no big deal.”

“No, it’s not!” Frank stood up, hands balling into fists while Gerard just glared at him. “You can’t treat yourself like you’re worth nothing. You mean the world to me, Gerard Arthur Way. Why can’t you fucking see that?”

Gerard just glared at Frank for a moment before yanking down his sleeves, standing up. “Fuck this.” He spat, and walked away, and just like that, Frank felt his heart breaking into two. Gerard had been self harming this whole time, and he had no idea. He’d had no fucking clue. And Frank found himself frantically looking down at his arms, because ‘Fuck this’ and ‘Fuck you’ were so incredibly similar. The probability of Gerard being his soulmate was slim, even though he loved Gerard with all his heart, but the words the boy just left Frank with were way too similar to the words etched into Frank’s skin. He’d thought about his words over and over; They always echoed in his head, and as it turns out, Gerard had been very much right about today being a bad day indeed.


	20. Chapter 20

Finding himself staring at a blank canvas once again, Gee was about ready to crumble the pencil in his hand. Everything was so...complicated. Life, relationships, drawing and even his fucking gender today, because he couldn’t even fucking get that straight today. He couldn’t get anything straight, mostly because he wasn’t straight, but that’s besides the point. They seriously didn’t know what else to do, and right now, what they were doing was no good. So they did exactly what they felt like doing; they snapped the pencil in their hand, graphite dusting the page in a loud, angry crunch. It felt satisfying to do, but now they didn’t have anything to draw with, which completely and utterly sucked. There was always sharpie, but then they would ruin their sketchbook and that would just make them even more mad and god, they felt like fucking shit. But of course, he knew exactly why. The bandages on his wrists nagged at him, reminding him of just exactly why he was so angry. He was angry at himself and at Frank and at the world, but mostly himself. He was always angry at himself, but now more than usual. Frank had seen his cuts. He’d seen them. And got angry about them. Why was it any of his business? What Gee did with their skin was their problem, not Frank’s. He had absolutely no right to worry.

Did he?

All Gee knew right now was that they were holding the shattered remnants of a drawing pencil above a drawing of Frank, and that they missed him. They wanted him back. They had only been apart a few days, but god damn, they missed him so much. They longed for the feel of his skin on theirs, of his lips brushing their cheek and his small yet dominant nature. They wanted him. They wanted every inch of him, regardless of how he felt about his own body, because to them, he was absolutely stunning. Not perfect, no, but Gee wouldn’t even want perfection, because they wanted Frank. 

They wanted the little grin that Frank always gave them, even if they could tell he’d been having a rough day. They missed the way Frank swung his hips a bit when he walked, a habit probably picked up from trying to assimilate with female culture as a child. They missed the way his thighs were a little too big to be a boys, and he stared at them often, even trying to cover them and only making himself look more feminine. The way Frank wrung his hands when he was nervous, and he pulled on the front of his shirt to try and make sure it wasn’t obvious he was binding, the way he constantly messed up his hair and rolled up his sleeves to try and look more masculine. Gee missed everything about him.

Dear god, he sounded like a lonely middle schooler who has a crush on their best friend but they’re like “Ughhh they’ll never notice me I’ll be alone forever.” That’s what he kinda felt like, too. Stupid Frank making Gee feel like a middle schooler. Stupid Frank for making Gee’s heart flutter every time he walked into a room. Stupid Frank for being everything Gee ever could’ve wanted, but being just out of reach. Stupid Frank for making them fall in love. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

X o x o x o x o 

While Gerard took a calmer method of taking out his emotions, Frank decided full-on rage was the best route to go for coping with this situation. He was currently outside, hatchet in hand and two piles of firewood beside him, one still chunked and big, the other split in half. Some pieces were even reduced to splinters. He brought the hatchet over his head and swung it downwards, shattering the log before him. Kicking it aside, he grabbed another and lined up the hatchet for another swing. He’d been doing this for over an hour, chopping and swinging and thinking.

 

Why did Gerard cut himself?

 

Swing. Chop. 

Was he upset?

Swing. Chop. 

Unhappy?  
Swing. Chop. 

Mentally ill? Well, that one was pretty obvious, but still.

Swing. Chop. 

Was it Frank’s fault?

 

He stopped on that thought, holding the hatchet above his head and feeling his eyes water. His knees buckled and he dropped the large piece of metal, letting the emotions wash over him like tides. The waves hit him, his legs feeling weak beneath him, but he refused to fall as the ocean flowed from his eyes. 

Maybe it was his fault. 

It could very possibly be, as much as he didn’t want it to be. People cut when they were sad, or hurt, or upset or in pain in some way, so what’s to say that wasn’t all Frank’s doing? What’s to say Frank wasn’t who he was thinking of every fucking time? 

Frank felt his chest grow tight, and even though he wasn’t binding (due to being at home and fear of his mother discovering), it still felt impossible to breathe. He tried to force air into his lungs, but it burned like a hot poker to the tissues inside. It hurt so incredibly bad just to be without Gerard, and the thought of even causing him harm or causing him to harm himself made Frank want to suffocate. He loved Gerard with all of his heart, and now that he thought about it, there wasn’t much time when he didn’t think about Gerard. That boy was his entire world, and here Frank was, angrily chopping wood instead of just talking to Gerard. 

“Faith? Are you going to finish that or what? Chop chop.” Mrs. Iero called, and Frank picked up the hatchet again, feeling anger towards a different person take him over. But he knew one thing for certain, that him and Gerard needed to talk, no matter how painful a talk like that could be. Even if it made his heart physically hurt with the overwhelming amount of worry he felt, he needed to be there for Gerard, and he couldn’t if there was a million miles between them. 

He was thinking too much.

Swing. Chop.


	21. Chapter 21

Frank walked into school that morning, a mission in his heart and ass on his mind. Wait, no. An ass on his mind, Gerard being that ass. Gerard may be an ass, but that ass was also his boyfriend who he’d missed a stupid amount and he needed back. All these ass politics were distracting Frank, enough so that he plowed right into two kids. All three of them fell over, Frank’s hands breaking his fall, but making his wrists hurt like hell. The other two tumbled to the ground, one sitting up promptly and helping the other up. Frank instantly recognized the bright red beanie the the bright red hair instantly, and he cleared his throat, adjusting the hood on his hoodie.

“Sorry about that, Tyler and Josh.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Tyler said with a smile, Josh rolling his eyes.

“Watch where you’re going.”

 

“Josh! Don’t be rude!”

“I really wasn’t watching where I was going. Sorry again.” Frank apologized, twisting the skin on his pointer finger in a fidgety manner.

“Josh is just grumpy. He’s not usually this rude.”

 

“I’m right here, Ty.”

“I know, Joshy.” Frank got the feeling he was intruding on something, so he gave them a quick wave and walked away. It didn’t take long for him to spot the famous trench coat he’d grown to adore; Everyone wore bright colors constantly, so Gerard was easy to find in a crowd. 

“GERARD!” Frank screamed through the hallway, through the countless voices trying to drown him out. The crowd quickly fell silent, and Gerard turned to face him, the dark and smudgy-outlined, hazel eyes meeting Frank’s from across the hall. 

“Fra-” Frank ran over and practically tackled Gerard, pressing his lips to the other’s, and Gerard reciprocating the kiss. The frozen crowd seemed to un-pause itself, and everyone began moving again, seemingly forgetting the couple. Gerard broke the kiss for a moment to breathe, Frank smirking at him as he did so; Curse Gerard’s tiny lungs. “Frank, what the hell?”

“I fucking missed you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I know.” Frank paused and took a step back, looking Gerard up and down. “Are you wearing a skirt?”

“Yeah. I stole it from the nurse’s office.”

“It looks fuckin’ hot, I’ll tell you that.” Gerard blushed at that and Frank took his hand, leading him down the halls. He ducked into the art room, empty this early in the morning, and he flicked on the lights, Gerard letting go of Frank’s hand and jumping up to sit on one of the tables. Frank walked over and stood in front of Gerard, looking up at the other for a moment before gently rolling his sleeves up. Frank ran his fingers over the white, thick bandages gently, keeping his eyes glued to them as he asked “You’ve disinfected them, right?”

“Yeah, I made sure to.”

Frank leaned over and gently brushed his lips across the top of Gerard’s wrist, kissing it as gently as he could. Gerard winced a bit even then, and Frank noticed, promptly flipping Gerard’s arm over and kissing his hand instead. 

“Gerard, why?”

“H-H...what?”

“Why’d you do it?”

“Frank, you know I can’t-”

“Just try. Please. For me.”

“I just...I don’t know how to put it into words. It’s like I just...there’s so much bad in me. And I need to cut it out of my skin. B-But it just keeps regrowing, and regrowing, and it gets worse and worse each time.” His voice shook with every word, and Frank continued to hold his hand, looking up at him with sad, yet understanding eyes.

“Sweetheart, you know I can’t agree with you, right?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, you’re not bad. You’re one of the kindest, sweetest, good-est people I’ve ever met. I love you with all of my heart, and I wish I could make you understand just how much I see in you.”

“What is there to see? There’s just...nothing. Blackness. Ink flowing through my veins.” Frank resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the dramatic comment. Leave it to Gerard be so dramatic 24/7. Although, Frank could understand why; Talking in symbols made things easier for him to convey, and for Frank to understand. 

“I see so much light, Gerard. I see absolute beauty in your core. I look into your eyes, and I just see the sky.” Frank smiled softly at him, and before he knew it, Gerard was leaning over, pressing his lips to Frank gently.

“You don’t know how much of a monster I am.” Gerard whispered against Frank’s lips.

“Bold of you to assume I don’t have a thing for monsters.”

“Don’t tell me you have a monster fetish.”

“No, you fuckin’ kinky shit. You might though.”

 

“No, although dirty talk is a different story.” 

 

*XO*XO*XO*XO*XO (SMUT) *XO*XO*XO*XO*XO

“Really? Dirty talk? You have a fucking kink for dirty talk.”

“Mm.” Gerard hummed in agreement, running his tongue across his lips. Frank smirked and grabbed a fistfull of Gerard’s hair, pulling him in for a kiss, deep and dirty, almost like a secret they shared. Gerard gasped against the kiss, Frank taking that opportunity to slip his tongue into the other’s mouth. It partially surprised Gerard just how dominant Frank was being, but being an undeniable bottom, he couldn’t argue. Gerard reached up for Frank’s hair as well, but he batted the other’s hand away, Gerard taking the hint; Frank had limits, and barriers, but most of all, he had knowledge, which meant he knew exactly what Gerard wanted. He showed this by dragging Gerard into a supply closet and locking it behind the two of them.

“Wouldn’t want anyone spoiling our fun, now would we?” Frank purred, and Gerard felt a shudder run through his entire body. It was a good kind of shudder, though, one that brought this drawing feeling in his stomach, drawing him to Frank, drawing him towards the unknown. Yes, as much as it might not seem, Gerard is a virgin. An eighteen year old virgin, to be precise. Frank could tell, in the way he seemed to know what to do, but it didn’t seem...natural. Frank, on the other hand, treated it like second nature, and that it did seem. 

“Oh Frankie!” He exclaimed and Frank snorted, laughing at the other’s words. What a stereotypical thing to say. Sounds like an old, yet classic and timeless meme, although not in this universe. Mayhaps in another.

“Jesus, someone’s needy.”

“Please, Frank.” He whispered softly, and Frank smirked, seeing the bulge under the other’s skirt. Really, if Gerard was going to be that easy, he shouldn’t wear jeans so tight, or skirts that were so...revealing at times.. It was almost odd to Frank, seeing the usually dominant personality begging for him in this moment. Although, Frank couldn’t imagine it the other way around, especially since dysphoria would always be something he struggled with. 

“What do you want, darling?” He asked, running a thumb across Gerard’s jawline.

“I want your dick.”

“Don’t have one, but I’m flattered.”

“Oh yeah. Fuck. Right.”

“Hey, don’t worry; We can work around that later. For now, I’m gonna suck you off. Is that okay?”

“Dear god, yes.” And with another devilish smirk, Frank sank to his knees, yanking the other’s skirt down forcefully. The boxers came off soon after, and Frank wrapped a hand around the base of Gerard, slowly taking the tip into his mouth. Gerard outright moaned and Frank bit down a bit, Gerard wincing.

“Slut.” Frank jeered. “Shut the fuck up.”

 

“Y-Yes, Frankie.”

 

“I said shut up.” Frank bit again and Gerard got the message this time, falling silent, only silent whimpers coming from him. Frank ran his tongue down the other’s erection, only to hollow out his cheeks. Deep throating wasn’t exactly his thing, but Gerard was coming regardless, Frank swallowing all of it. Gerard probably made a windows error noise, because he thought that wasn’t a legitimate thing, but Frank did anyway, and with another smirk, he rose, smashing his lips onto Gerard’s. The kiss was brutal and harsh, but it was full of love, and the two has never been closer to one another.


	22. Chapter 22

Seeing as Gerard absolutely hated hanging out at his house, and the two weren’t exactly supposed to be hanging out according to Frank’s mother, the two had to find alternative places to be together. Their parents worked all day, and sometimes into the night, and didn’t exactly care immensely if their children were around, so the two took that opportunity to make the most of every minute they could together. Seeing as they both enjoyed horror movies, the dark, and spending time with each other (minimal law breaking not required, but welcomed), sneaking into an outdoor movie showing was the perfect outing for the two tonight. 

“You got the blanket?”

 

“Yup!”

“Snacks?”

“Bitch, please. Of course I brought snacks. I brought only the finest poor-as-fuck cuisine, which pretty much is Ritz crackers and pop tarts.”

“I love you so much.”

“Love you too, Frankie.” Gerard bent over and rubbed his nose against Frank’s, a form of a kiss they often shared as opposed to actually pressing their lips together. It was more subtle than a full-on kiss, yet more meaningful as well. It was a small gesture they shared with each other and no one else, as opposed to a kiss Frank was forced to give his mother every day, or Gerard holding his father’s hand at the prayer before dinner. They showed each other love in many ways, sure, but this one was their favorite. It had been an accident originally, but it had blossomed into something beautiful. 

“I brought money for drinks, but I’m probably just gonna steal shit.”

“Frankie? Stealing? My goodness, I’ve been rubbing off on you!”

“Oh shut it, asshole.”

“That’s got to be my favorite nickname you’ve given me.”

“Asshole? Why, because you lo-”

“Making sex jokes too? What have you become, Frank?”

“Your boyfriend, mainly.”

“Oh yeah. Right.” Gerard giggled and Frank rolled his eyes, although a smirk was present on his face. The two often had interactions like this, and they wouldn’t trade these for the world. It was their own little peace they’d created, with eskimo kisses and giggles-a-plenty, away from hateful parents and pressures of the world around. 

The sun had fallen and the moon was rising, shining brightly even though it would remember to fall only a short while later. The two scurried over to the baseball field over at the elementary school, the movie already flickering to life. There was a big, hanging, white sheet strung between two trees and countless blankets lined up in front of it, people getting comfortable as the title appeared on the screen. The movie was Friday the Thirteenth, not the stupid new one, but the good, classic one from 1980. Frank always hated remakes, and even though Gerard usually didn’t mind, he could agree the original was the best, no matter how cheesy and fake it looked at times. 

Gerard spread out the blanket hastily and set down his backpack, producing snacks from it quickly as Frank plopped down on the ground. He tucked his arms behind his head, making himself comfortable as Gerard curled up partially on top of Frank, the box of crackers and poptarts resting on Gerard’s stomach. Frank had made the mistake of wearing short sleeves, which proved to not be helpful in the slightest as the cold began to set in. He shuddered, and Gerard sat up, removing his trench coat and covering the two of them with it as a blanket while screams sounded from the projector. 

 

“You’re really warm.”

“Quit squirming! You’re crushing me!”

“Oh… sorry.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m just joking. You’re not actually heavy, don’t worry.”

“You’re sure?”

“Mhm. Don’t worry, Gee.”

Frank laced his fingers with Gerard’s under the jacket, smiling at the other sadly. 

 

“Gerard, can we talk? Like, without you begging me to have sex afterwards.”

 

“I wasn’t- I didn’t beg you!”

 

“Yeah, you did. But still. Can we? I don’t want to ruin this, but I seriously….I need to know.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fire away, Frankie!” 

“That sounds like a fuckin’ rad superhero name. Or catchphrase.”

“It does! Woooooah! I’m a genius!”

“You’re an idiot. Nice try. Anyway, I-” Frank met Gerard’s eyes, the soft highlights in his irises glowing from the movie screen. “I want to talk about your, uh, cutting. Or whatever you want to call it. Fuck, I’m not good at this kind of thing.”

“Hey, it’s alright. Don’t worry about it. I know what you mean. W-What do you want to know?”

“I still don’t understand why you do it. I understand partially; I mean, I’ve done the whole self-harming thing, but-”

 

“Wait, you have?”

 

“Yeah. I had anorexia. Well, I mean, technically have, but I’ve been doing great. I was never officially treated or anything, but this isn’t about me. This is about you, Gerard, and I want to understand. I love you more than I can possibly put into words.” Tears began to spark up, stinging Frank’s eyes as he continued. He hated being such a crybaby; Men don’t cry, but here he was, crying all the fucking time. 

“Frank, I love you too-”

“I know you do, but you don’t love yourself, and I don’t understand how! You’re literally one of the sweetest, most beautiful, fucking- Gah! You’re perfect, and I fucking suck at talking, but I want to tell you so bad about how much I love you and- You just don’t get it, and I wish I could make you get it, because you seriously need to know just how fucking incredible you are.”

“Frank, I’m flattered, really, but...but I’m not. I’m not perfect. I’m not incredible. And anorexia is really serious. That requires treatment, sweetheart.”

Frank shrugged off the last two statements. “Yes,” He kissed Gerard’s nose gently, smiling sadly at him. “You are. See what I mean? You just don’t see it. I don’t know how to show you or how to explain-”

“Write me a song.”

“What now?”

“You said you write songs. Or play guitar. I vaguely remember this. It’s very possible I’m wrong but I think I remember this. If talking is difficult for you, or you can’t say everything you want to say in conversation, then write.”

“Huh. Good idea, I guess. Song lyrics usually come easier to me than words.”

 

“The same goes for me with art! Just write me a song, as explicit and blunt as you like, I don’t give a fuck. If that’s how it works in your head, then do it.”

“Alright. I guess that works.” They shared a kiss once again as a knife pierced through the heart of a victim on the screen, blood spraying all over the screen in a cheesy way. Blood poured all over, screams curdled, and the two shared a giggle in an adorable way. Frank still didn’t feel satisfied with the answer he’d gotten, and neither did Gerard, and there was a massive figurative elephant in the figurative room. To be terribly honest, Frank was silently asking Jason to stab that goddamn elephant to death. He tried to so hard to communicate, to speak, to even breathe, but everything about it felt feminine, wrong. Gerard usually managed to be a distraction from this, but something about him just felt...different. He felt more distant, colder than usual. He was warm physically, but his words had an icy numbness behind them. 

Gerard definitely felt the icy numbness, except, instead of the usual, blank mindset that accompanied the feeling, his mind felt like it was on fire; an inspirational fire, a fire that made him look around at the world and force it to burn with him. Thoughts raced through his head, plaguing and swarming every waking minute. Although, the moment Frank had kissed his nose, it was like his warmth had warded it all away. He knew that the moment Frank left, the thoughts would seep back in, making him tear his hair out and scrape at his skin, trying to escape. But then again, maybe that was the point; To suffer on and off, to learn how to deal with the pain. After all, he’d made it this far without snapping. What’s to say he couldn’t take a bit more?


	23. Chapter 23

Gee wasn’t doing good. They wasn’t doing good in the slightest. It had been a month since they told themselves they wouldn’t snap, but they had the feeling they wouldn’t make it a month more. Their emotions were throwing themselves all over the place, putting smiles up on their face for display and then tearing them down, forcing their eyes to rain. Their chemicals couldn’t make up their minds whether they wanted to make Gee happy, sad, angry or numb. Instead of their usual, bland, cold feeling, they felt like they were on fire, burning like a thousand suns as emotions hit them in intense explosions. It was brutal and terrifying, to be terribly honest. They didn’t know when they were going to snap, whether it would be just be a few punches to a wall or an all-out explosion. They were hoping the first one. Frank had noticed the shift in the other’s emotional stability, the tears that would come without warrant, the way Gee was constantly bumping into things and punching them. It was a bit terrifying, to say the least. 

Frank loved Gee, of course, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be a little afraid of them. 

The two of them were sitting outside on the patio for lunch, as they did frequently (as mentioned in chapters before), only today’s lunch was a bit different. There were others sitting outside, too. An entire table of popular kids, in fact, in all their chip crunching, annoying laughing-glory. Frank and Gerard weren’t used to having any company on their little lunch dates, but they sat next to each other regardless. They weren’t going to un-gay just for some popular bitches, regardless of what they would say. They could handle anything those fucks could throw. 

 

Frank held half of his sandwich up to Gee’s mouth, who took a bite of it and smiled happily up at him. 

“Why are you so goddamn adorable, Gee?”

“I dunno. Why are you so goddamn perfect?” 

“I’m not perfect, I promise.”

“Liar.”

“Shut up and eat your sandwich.” Frank produced a thermos of soup from his backpack and began to drink it, Gee still munching on the sandwich. Frank knew he couldn’t get them to eat the whole thing (unless he wanted to deal with Gee having a melt down like an infant), but at least he could get them to eat half. 

Although, another sandwich entered the equation, accompanied by laughter from the popular kids table.

“GET A ROOM, FAGS!” One of them called, and the rest laughed hysterically, as if it was the funniest thing they’ve heard in their miserable, gold-encrusted lives. 

And something started boiling inside of Gee, ticking like a clock, like a neck slowly snapping, like knuckles cracking and popping one by one inside of their heart. Someone lit a bunsen burner below the beaker that was their stomach, the chemicals and acids inside slowly coming to a boil, changing colors and bubbling in a fit of rage. In fact, all of their chemicals shifted, like they turned into a completely different person, like the anger they’d fought to keep bottled for years had started to gather and pool in their shaking fists. 

They stood up. 

Each pace they took, their feet felt more and more unsteady underneath them, but at the same time, they drew fire from the earth below. They absorbed the molten core of the earth through the soles of their shoes, the cobblestone figuratively melting to their will. And they marched right up to the popular kids table, picked up the closest jock by the collar with ease and punched him square in the face. 

 

All the laughter ceased. 

 

Gee was left holding the jock suspended in the air, eyes glaring into the football players as he struggled to let his feet touch the floor. Gee dropped him, letting the jock crumble to the cement, and they spat on him. 

“You fucking scum of the earth. You deserve to burn in hell, you disgusting fuck.” 

The bully didn’t respond, only shaking and staring up at Gee in horror. Everyone was staring up at them in horror, only the bully was on the ground. Actually, it wasn’t quite clear who the bully was here. Sure, the jock had harassed them many, many times, but did he deserve this? Did anyone?

“DID YOU HEAR ME? ARE YOU A FUCKING RETARD? HELLO?” Gerard screamed, leaning down and glaring intensely at the jock. The jock had a name, of course, but Frank couldn’t quite remember it, nor did the narrator care to give him one. He wasn’t important in this timeline, but mayhaps he was in another. 

“Gee, sweetheart, that’s enough.” Frank said quietly, not moving from his spot, frozen. 

“No, it’s not, Frank. He deserves it.” Gee brought their leg to meet the jock’s face, rage and hatred stil fueling their actions. “YOU CUNT! YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING RETARD! I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU MAKE ME FUCKING SICK, YOU KNOW THAT? YOU’RE JUST A WASTE OF SPACE, A WASTE OF LIFE, FUCKING, god, FUCK YOU!” Again and again, they kicked him, his nose giving a sickening crunch somewhere between the pleas for it to stop and the kicks. 

“Gerard! That’s enough!” The principal conveniently walked onto the patio just when Gee was getting started. They had so much more they wanted to say, so much more they wanted to do, so much fire left to burn. If they didn’t go with him, they knew the principal would call the police. And the last thing they needed was their father finding out about this, let alone their father receiving a call from the police. And so, like the punk-ass bitch they are, they held their bandaged wrists out to the principle to be ‘cuffed’. Of course, the principal didn’t have handcuffs, but the message was loud and clear just the same. 

Gee was lead away, to the principal’s office, and they were sent to walk home with a two week suspension and no idea how to explain this to their parents. 

Even after everyone left and the janitors came to clean the blood off the cobblestones, Frank was absolutely frozen, stuck in between breaths because holy fuck, where did that come from? He’d never seen that in Gee before- Fuck, was that even Gee? Or was that somebody else, something that possessed his partner? Of course Frank knew that wasn’t possible, but still. There was no way that was normal, or healthy, or anything. What’s to say they won’t do it again, or something worse? What’s to say they won’t explode on Frank next time?

And just like that, Gee managed to make Frank very much terrified of them.


	24. Chapter 24

Frank and Gerard. Gerard and Frank. Two lovers bound to each other but bound to one they didn't know why the words tattooed onto their wrists. It was an accepted and casual part of society, once meaning everything but now nearly obsolete. If you met your soulmate, everything was supposed to go right and be perfect.  _Supposed_  to. Frank and Gerard had no knowledge of the higher powers as you, the reader do, so to these two, this meant nearly nothing at all. Maybe they weren't soulmates, which would explain why things were going south. Maybe 'going south' was too gentle of a term.

Frank loved Gerard. He knew that. He loved that boy with all his heart, and yet, here he was, hiding in his room with the curtains drawn and his phone under his mattress so he couldn't hear it vibrate every few minutes with the texts Gerard was sending. He knew Gerard had a few days off, and he was avoiding the other at all costs. Why, you may ask? Because Frank was generally afraid. He had seen a fire, a rage, anger in Gerard he'd never seen in another person before. He had just...snapped. Right in front of Frank. He nearly beat that other boy to a pulp without any hesitation. It was equally terrifying and beautiful- and maybe the part of Frank that found that beautiful had come from Gerard rubbing off on him because that wasn't beautiful at all. It was violent and terrible. That boy didn't deserve it in the slightest. Or maybe he did. He  _had_  thrown a sandwich at Frank and-

In that moment, it hit Frank just how much he'd been slowly turning into Gerard.

He'd been so dependant on him, that he'd  _become_  Gerard. Even now that Frank was avoiding the other at all costs, he felt like he couldn't breathe without Gerard. It was so disorienting and odd, the fact that he needed the other to survive. He needed Gerard's toxicity- And on the subject of Gerard's toxicity, he was very toxic indeed. Frank understood that he had mental issues, and he tried to accommodate those to the best of his ability, but he was just so...bad. Gerard had demons in his head, and Frank knew what that felt like, but he went about handling them all wrong. He hurt himself and others, and maybe that was because of the example his father set, but regardless, that doesn't make it any okay. Frank couldn't use ignorance as an excuse for why Gerard was the way he was. Frank couldn't make excuses for Gerard anymore.

**Gee <3: Frankie? I'm sorry if I upset you**

**Gee <3: Frank?**

**Gee <3: Did I do something wrong?**

**Gee <3: Talk to me**

**Gee <3: Please**

**Gee <3: Frank I know you're there. Please stop ignoring me**

**Gee <3: Are you there?**

**Gee <3: Please, babe**

**Gee <3: I love you**

Gerard growled and shoved his phone back in his pocket. Why wasn't Frank answering him? What did he do wrong? He only beat a kid up! Maybe that was it. But, fuck, this guy deserved it! He was making fun of Frank, and that pissed Gerard the fuck off.

The pavement passed slowly beneath his feet, crunching a bit with each step he took. The cement was old and beaten up, little pebbles rising out of it here and there. It was shitty, and Belleville really ought to repave it. It gave away Gerard's position in a second, specifically now, when he wanted to be unnoticed, unseen. Even in his trench coat, heavy black eyeliner and very un-Jersey-like attire, he wanted to be invisible. He didn't want to exist anymore, to rather fade into the night sky, his coat melting into the atmosphere and his eyes joining the ranks of the stars. But that's not how things work. There is no afterlife, no heaven, no 'joining the stars'. There's a big, black nothing. If you're lucky, your remains decompose and help a tree grow. But that's only if you're  _really_  lucky.

Gerard had the feeling he wouldn't be lucky.

Maybe he'd shoot himself, make a stain on his mother's precious carpet and piss his father off. Maybe he'd hang himself in the middle of the school hallway, let some random student find him and have to explain. Eat spaghetti with arsenic sauce. Drink some random chemicals in the school chemistry lab. They all sounded like incredible ways to go, but deaths involving guns would always be his favorite. He'd always had a fascination with guns and knives; Not for purposes of self-harm, but rather as a way to feel safe. Guns could take a life or save one, just like that. With just one click. One. Of course, the safety would have to be off, but that was an easy fix. Like a loaded god complex, you just cock it and pull it. Gerard found himself chuckling, specifically at the word 'cock' being the gay fucker that he is. While he was focusing on that, he looked over to his left, and there was Frank's house in all it's slightly-shabby, regretable glory. The lights were on downstairs and everything seemed normal, except for the fact that Frank's curtains were drawn.

Peculiar.

Gerard felt compelled to go over, to knock on the door and ask to see Frank. No, Frank's mother didn't like Gerard. Maybe he'd climb in through Frank's window and chime in with a "Sorry to come through the window. Dreadful etiquette, I know!" But that'd most definitely spark some conflict or panic. Frank did often tend to panic, and Gerard often tried to accomidate for that, seeing as he had panic attacks as well. And he understood how much that would freak him out. But since when was Gerard being empathetic? Frank had softened him more than he'd ever let anyone else, not even Mikey. Speaking of Mikey, the two hadn't talked in forever. Come to think of it, Gerard hadn't talked to anyone in forever. He'd been becoming withdrawn. It was just a cycle; He was right back to being on his own, on the edge of killing himself or someone else.

He took another look at Frank's house and walked past. 

 

_ **(A/N)** _

_ **Hi everyone! It's been a while! I don't know how many more author's notes I'll be doing, but to avoid any and all confusion, the Tumblr mentioned in this story (@geeway0409) is BACK UP AND RUNNING!!  I'm making it open for questions as I type this! Feel free to ask any questions you'd like! The posts will be in character unless specified, and updates will be slow, but still! Feel free to interact!** _


	25. Chapter 25

School had ended quicker than Gee thought it would. It flew by as they waited all day for Frank to show up, to stroll into the classroom with a smirk on his face like always, but he didn't. He never showed up.

 

Unbeknownst to Gee, he was still hiding in his room, convincing his mother that he was far too sick to go to school. She bought it, but not without plenty of bargaining and acting from Frank. He was procrastinating, really, plucking a few guitar strings and listening to them reverb around the echoey hallway that he sat in. He didn't have to worry about acting sick anymore since his mother was at work, but he was more worried about thinking, letting thoughts seep into his mind that would drag him down into a pit of worry. So instead, he plucked a few more strings, humming a note that didn't quite go, but sounded beautiful.

 

Frank had always been a fan of dissonance in music, notes not quite going together, crashing and colliding and trying to see who would change to make the chord sound harmonic again. It was a beautiful thing to Frank, while on the other hand, not many people could stand it. He didn't' understand why, since it was so pleasing to hear.

 

Right now, Gee felt like there was dissonance inside of their soul, stretching to every single sub-atomic particle that comprised their body. And they hated dissonance. It sounded wrong and strained to him, like it was broken and in need of repair. Gee would've loved to have fixed it, but it's just a fucking sound, so you can't physically fix it. They could hear the notes strumming themselves every time they took a breath, incredibly out of tune and not quite matching, as if one lung was screaming C# and the other was screaming B, chaos spewing out of their mouth from between the two. It billowed out of them like smoke, abuse and hatred the cigarette they were taking a drag off, breathing out violence and chaos. They were becoming a force of mass disruption, their silver tongue spewing words to make others crumble, their feet breaking other's bones like toothpicks. They would take their own dissonance and spread it to others, sending shockwaves through their spines to their very core. Fuck being a good guy, because they were beyond that. They'd tried to be good for Frank, but they just...couldn't. They couldn't hide their hobby of starving themselves or slitting their skin open or getting way too attached to someone and absolutely draining them. That's just who Gee was, and it was undesirable and ugly, but inevitable.

 

As was the open Pepsi can that hit them in the back of the head, the drink spilling down the back of their trench coat, soaking the overcoat as well as the hood to their hoodie underneath. They felt the liquid dripping down their back, willing it to boil off their skin like water spilled over onto a hot stove burner. But it didn't; It just sat there, seeping through the material of their jacket, slowly absorbing the black with the shimmering, bubbly liquid. There was laughter- Lot's of laughter, four voices in sync snickering and chuckling and laughing as one of them called "FREAK!"

 

Gee turned to face them, glaring at the three high school-age boys and one random girl, her glittery converse flashing in the light. Gee let out a growl, the four giving them looks like they were insane- they were not insane. If anything, those four assholes were the insane ones. Who throws a fucking Pepsi can? At least throw a rock or a shovel or something. And they were just laughing when Gerard growled at them? They were either insane or idiots, but either way, they were idiots with switchblades, because Gee saw the glimmers that flashed from hand-level on at least two of them. Switchblades didn't scare Gee, and they proved it by marching right up to one of the idiots and grabbing him by the collar, hoisting him into the air and glaring into his eyes.

 

"Listen, you fucking punk-" Gee started, unable to finish as their legs were kicked out from under them. More laughter sounded as a foot connected with their stomach, Gee groaning and curling in on themselves. It burned, like they could feel the bruises forming all over their skin in little designs. It hurt, not as much as a punch from their father hurt (especially with all those rings), but it still fucking hurt. It always hurt- It had been a long time since they'd gotten used to the slapping and occasional punching, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It hurt so much, it lulled into a constant flow of hurt, buried under a numb disposition and layers of their mother's foundation.

 

They kicked Gee again and again and again, their stomach and their back and their chest screaming in pain. The girl was the only one who wasn't kicking Gee at this point, but she said a few words that Gee couldn't make out- their ears were buzzing way too loud, which was a coping mechanism they'd picked up. Physical attacks from their father usually came with screaming or yelling or lecturing, so Gee had taught themselves how to go deaf, just for a little while, until things were over. In fact, their vision was starting to go cloudy and fuzzy, and they couldn't hear anything anymore except a high-pitched squealing resembling faulty breaks crying out to a harsh halt of momentum. Everything just went...numb. They didn't feel any more kicking. They didn't hear the girl flick open the switchblade. They didn't feel the girl drag the knife slowly across their face, making little slices here and there as they all laughed and laughed.

 

Maybe Gee were too pretty, and those four couldn't stand that. Who knows?

 

When it was all over, it was pouring rain. Gee snapped out of their blanketing numbness, blinking a bunch of times as rain clung to their eyelashes. Their jacket was soaked, and their hoodie and everything they were wearing, due to the fact they'd been in the rain for a while. They tasted something like iron on their lips, and when they reached up to touch their cheek, deep red stained their hand. So they started to laugh. They giggled at first, and just started full-on laughing, because, fuck, this was hilarious! Everything hurt, everything ached, everything burned, and everything had gone to absolute shit! This was like a fucking carnival, and Gee was the circus clown, just a fuck up waiting for everyone to laugh at! That's all their life had come to at this point. Fuck, even Frank knew Gee was just a disaster. Everyone did! And it. Was. Fucking. Hilarious.

 

Life was so much fun bleeding on the floor of an alley.

 

 

 

 

(A/N)

 

Hi everyone! This is probably going to be my last A/N! The story's just getting very serious, and I feel like these aren't needed anymore! Please please PLEASE like, comment and share with your friends! Every little bit helps! 

 

See you on the other side

 

XO Author


	26. Chapter 26

Memories are funny. Sometimes, they can make you smile and laugh. Others, they can make you break down and cry. They're complex and complicated and confusing, especially when the situation varies. For example, Frank greatly enjoyed looking through their photos on their phone, since they were mostly comprised of memes and nicely-taken photos. Gerard didn't enjoy looking at pictures at all, partially because he'd had his fair share of bad haircuts, but mainly because out of all the photos, he was only in a few. And specifically with bad haircuts.

 

He'd always been his parent's least favorite, if that was even possible since they hated both the Way brothers. He was used to the rolling eyes and silent judgement from his mother as well as the beating from his father, but this was just what happened. He let it happen because that meant that they left Mikey alone for the most part. The younger brother couldn't take much, and Gerard knew that. All it took was an assignment that was a little too hard and Mikey could break down into tears. He would never be able to handle anything from their father like Gerard could. So hence why he swore to protect Mikey, and take every punishment for him. It was just in Gerard's nature to protect him, no matter the cost. So naturally, he tried to be home any time his father was intoxicated. Having been recently attacked in an alley, Gerard wasn't there this time. And Mr. Way was drunk beyond belief.

 

Gerard could hear yelling down the block, and the moment he recognized his father's voice, he knew what was going on. The pavement took off below him, zooming by as he broke into a sprint. He couldn't let his father hurt Mikey, he couldn't. The yelling got louder and louder as he got closer, slurs leaking through the sealed and shuttered windows of the Way house. Gerard's heart beat loudly in his ears, booming louder and louder until it stopped, just as he kicked open the front door. All hell had broken loose in the living room. Mikey stood in front of their father, hands held out defensively, trying to keep some distance. Donna Way stood next to her husband, frantically trying to calm him down, her constantly caked-on makeup running from the tears spewing from her eyes. And Donald Way, in his drunken, eyes half-closed glory, held a gun in his quaking hands, pointed directly at Mikey.

 

Gerard had completely forgotten that his father still owned their grandfather's gun.

 

"Donald, please!" Donna cried, tugging at her husband's arm. He growled, taking the gun in his left hand and slapping his wife across the cheek with his right. She cried out in pain, clutching her cheek as she stumbled backward.

 

"Shut the fffuck up, bitch." Donald said, the booze in his head slurring his words together. "Go wash the dishes or something." Donna didn't say anything back, only shaking violently as she stood in silence. She didn't dare challenge her husband, even when he wasn't holding a gun, and Gerard would always resent her for that.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Frank stumbled upon a video from the first day of school he didn't remember taking. It was around five minutes long, which was probably why he had almost no storage left on his phone anymore. He clicked play, putting in his headphones so that his mother wouldn't hear anything she wouldn't want to hear. Videos were risky like that- They could be anything from a song sample to something he overheard in class.

 

As the video began to play, he realized that, thank goodness, it wasn't anything inappropriate.

 

"Hi, my name is Frank Anthony Thomas Iero, I'm fifteen and three quarters, and this is my first day at Belleville high school." Video Frank said, his voice sounding much higher than usual. That was long before he started lowering his voice, like he did now. "I'm going to school in my binder for the first time- Oh! And I'm wearing a packer, too. My Mum doesn't know about any of this, so don't tell her." Video Frank giggled softly, the camera shaking a bit. Present-day Frank just skipped ahead in the video, not wanting to listen to all the boring bullshit.

 

Something flashed across the screen, like a big mess of black and Frank stopped the video, rewinding a bit. The point of view became a static-y grey, seeing as Frank had presumably dropped his phone in whatever had just happened. When the boy in the video picked up the phone, he made a face at it, sighing and muttering something about cracks. That's right! Frank had dropped his phone on the first day and had to get it fixed!

 

"I hate you." Video Frank muttered, staring down at his phone as the camera filmed a fairly unflattering angle of his face.

 

"Fuck you" A voice piped up and Frank recognized it in an instant. He paused the video, dropping his phone and frantically rolling up his sleeves.

 

Gerard's first words to him were 'Fuck you'.

 

That was one of his soulmate words.

 

No way.

 

No fucking way.

 

There was no way in hell that Gerard was Frank's soulmate. Was there?

 

Frank just let that run around in his brain as he lay back onto his bed, eyes glued to the ceiling as he contemplated absolutely everything.

 

No wonder he loved Gerard so much. He was destined to. It made so much sense yet none at all simultaneously. It was just too much too soon, and it made Frank just wanna pull all his hair out. Fucking hell.

 

XOXOXOX

 

"I don't want any fags in my house. You all deserve to die anyway."

 

"Dad, I-I'm not gay!" Mikey stuttered out. It was a complete lie, of course, but in the matter of his own life, he knew lying about his sexuality wasn't important.

 

"Yes you are, MMMichael. You're wearing a fucking pastel purple hoodie, little cunt." The younger Way boy flinched at that. "I can't wait to see your brains decorate the carpet."

 

"DAD!" Gerard screamed, just as Donald cocked the gun. It all happened in a flash; Gerard sprinted over, Mikey screamed, Donna stood silent, and the gun fired. But it wasn't Mikey who fell to the floor. He stood, crouched over and behind his older brother, who was now holding the gun. Donald Way stood before the two, looking down at his dress shirt-covered chest as blood was quickly absorbed by the light material. He fell to the floor, blood pouring out of the wound and pooling around him quickly. That would be quite the mess to get out of the carpet.

 

"Gerard, what did you do?" Donna piped up, staring in horror at her son. Maybe 'son' wasn't the right word- Was that even her son? Was that the boy she raised, the smiley little Gerard who put dandelions in his hair and cried every time an ant died. To be terribly honest, she had a feeling her son was long dead. The world had killed that boy long ago, and all that was left was the vessel, the shell of a personality long gone.

 

"I-I...I..." Gerard started, stuttering as his entire body quaked. "W-What had to be done. Fuck, Mom, he was gonna kill Mikey! What the fuck was I supposed to do? Why didn't you tell us he still had the gun? How much did he even drink? Wh-"

 

"GERARD ARTHUR WAY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She screamed, her voice shaking as she stared intensely at her son. "You just shot your own father in the chest. You're a f-fucking monster." She took a shaky breath, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "I'm calling the police."

 

"Mom, no!" Gerard exclaimed, grabbing for the phone but missing. And he met his mother's eyes, seeing the complete and utter horror, the sheer unrecognition, like he was some...stranger. He'd never liked his mother, so it shouldn't hurt. It did. What hurt even more, in fact, was when he turned to face Mikey, who had tears streaming down his face. He looked horrified as well, inching away from Gerard, who still held the gun firmly in his grasp. Everyone was in a massive state of shock. No one knew what to do. Except Gerard's anxiety. Apparently, it did, because it skyrocketed, words spewing out of his mouth.

 

"He was going to kill Mikey and I couldn't let that fucker do it. He's my brother- You're my brother, and I love you so much, and I would rather kill myself or let him kill me than let him hurt you. That's why I let him beat me every fucking time, but I just can't do this anymore. I can't I can't I can't I can't I-" At this point, Gerard was pacing around, gun still in hand, shoes getting covered in blood. "I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this anymore. I can't let him hurt you and I can't let him hurt Mom and I don't want to do this anymore. I don't wanna live anymore, I don't wanna breathe anymore, I just want to fucking-"

 

"Gerard." Mikey practically whispered, his voice coming out as more of a whimper than normal. It snapped him out of his little panicking session, and he looked up at his brother, his dark hair falling into his panic-filled eyes. "Get out."

 

"W-What?"

 

"I said, get out. I'm calling an ambulance. They'll arrest you if they find you."

 

"No! Mikey, you're going to save the man who threatened your life nearly every day? Y-"

 

"HE'S STILL FUCKING HUMAN, GERARD!" Mikey yelled, shutting his older brother right up. Mikey hadn't yelled in forever, and it took Gerard off guard. "He's human. He's an alcoholic asshole, sure, but he's our father. Did he deserve to die for being fucked up? Did he deserve to die because he drinks to forget?"

 

"Yes." Gerard said without missing a beat. Mikey shook his head, wiping away some of the tears on his cheeks.

 

"Just go, Gee. I love you, but please go."

 

Gerard's trench coat fluttered behind him as he grabbed the extra pack of ammunition sitting on the couch and sprinted out of the door, sirens picking up in the far-off distance as he ran, ran and ran.


	27. Chapter 27

Memories are funny. Sometimes, they can make you smile and laugh. Others, they can make you break down and cry. They're complex and complicated and confusing, especially when the situation varies. For example, Frank greatly enjoyed looking through their photos on their phone, since they were mostly comprised of memes and nicely-taken photos. Gerard didn't enjoy looking at pictures at all, partially because he'd had his fair share of bad haircuts, but mainly because out of all the photos, he was only in a few. And specifically with bad haircuts.

 

He'd always been his parent's least favorite, if that was even possible since they hated both the Way brothers. He was used to the rolling eyes and silent judgement from his mother as well as the beating from his father, but this was just what happened. He let it happen because that meant that they left Mikey alone for the most part. The younger brother couldn't take much, and Gerard knew that. All it took was an assignment that was a little too hard and Mikey could break down into tears. He would never be able to handle anything from their father like Gerard could. So hence why he swore to protect Mikey, and take every punishment for him. It was just in Gerard's nature to protect him, no matter the cost. So naturally, he tried to be home any time his father was intoxicated. Having been recently attacked in an alley, Gerard wasn't there this time. And Mr. Way was drunk beyond belief.

 

Gerard could hear yelling down the block, and the moment he recognized his father's voice, he knew what was going on. The pavement took off below him, zooming by as he broke into a sprint. He couldn't let his father hurt Mikey, he couldn't. The yelling got louder and louder as he got closer, slurs leaking through the sealed and shuttered windows of the Way house. Gerard's heart beat loudly in his ears, booming louder and louder until it stopped, just as he kicked open the front door. All hell had broken loose in the living room. Mikey stood in front of their father, hands held out defensively, trying to keep some distance. Donna Way stood next to her husband, frantically trying to calm him down, her constantly caked-on makeup running from the tears spewing from her eyes. And Donald Way, in his drunken, eyes half-closed glory, held a gun in his quaking hands, pointed directly at Mikey.

 

Gerard had completely forgotten that his father still owned their grandfather's gun.

 

"Donald, please!" Donna cried, tugging at her husband's arm. He growled, taking the gun in his left hand and slapping his wife across the cheek with his right. She cried out in pain, clutching her cheek as she stumbled backward.

 

"Shut the fffuck up, bitch." Donald said, the booze in his head slurring his words together. "Go wash the dishes or something." Donna didn't say anything back, only shaking violently as she stood in silence. She didn't dare challenge her husband, even when he wasn't holding a gun, and Gerard would always resent her for that.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Frank stumbled upon a video from the first day of school he didn't remember taking. It was around five minutes long, which was probably why he had almost no storage left on his phone anymore. He clicked play, putting in his headphones so that his mother wouldn't hear anything she wouldn't want to hear. Videos were risky like that- They could be anything from a song sample to something he overheard in class.

 

As the video began to play, he realized that, thank goodness, it wasn't anything inappropriate.

 

"Hi, my name is Frank Anthony Thomas Iero, I'm fifteen and three quarters, and this is my first day at Belleville high school." Video Frank said, his voice sounding much higher than usual. That was long before he started lowering his voice, like he did now. "I'm going to school in my binder for the first time- Oh! And I'm wearing a packer, too. My Mum doesn't know about any of this, so don't tell her." Video Frank giggled softly, the camera shaking a bit. Present-day Frank just skipped ahead in the video, not wanting to listen to all the boring bullshit.

 

Something flashed across the screen, like a big mess of black and Frank stopped the video, rewinding a bit. The point of view became a static-y grey, seeing as Frank had presumably dropped his phone in whatever had just happened. When the boy in the video picked up the phone, he made a face at it, sighing and muttering something about cracks. That's right! Frank had dropped his phone on the first day and had to get it fixed!

 

"I hate you." Video Frank muttered, staring down at his phone as the camera filmed a fairly unflattering angle of his face.

 

"Fuck you" A voice piped up and Frank recognized it in an instant. He paused the video, dropping his phone and frantically rolling up his sleeves.

 

Gerard's first words to him were 'Fuck you'.

 

That was one of his soulmate words.

 

No way.

 

No fucking way.

 

There was no way in hell that Gerard was Frank's soulmate. Was there?

 

Frank just let that run around in his brain as he lay back onto his bed, eyes glued to the ceiling as he contemplated absolutely everything.

 

No wonder he loved Gerard so much. He was destined to. It made so much sense yet none at all simultaneously. It was just too much too soon, and it made Frank just wanna pull all his hair out. Fucking hell.

 

XOXOXOX

 

"I don't want any fags in my house. You all deserve to die anyway."

 

"Dad, I-I'm not gay!" Mikey stuttered out. It was a complete lie, of course, but in the matter of his own life, he knew lying about his sexuality wasn't important.

 

"Yes you are, MMMichael. You're wearing a fucking pastel purple hoodie, little cunt." The younger Way boy flinched at that. "I can't wait to see your brains decorate the carpet."

 

"DAD!" Gerard screamed, just as Donald cocked the gun. It all happened in a flash; Gerard sprinted over, Mikey screamed, Donna stood silent, and the gun fired. But it wasn't Mikey who fell to the floor. He stood, crouched over and behind his older brother, who was now holding the gun. Donald Way stood before the two, looking down at his dress shirt-covered chest as blood was quickly absorbed by the light material. He fell to the floor, blood pouring out of the wound and pooling around him quickly. That would be quite the mess to get out of the carpet.

 

"Gerard, what did you do?" Donna piped up, staring in horror at her son. Maybe 'son' wasn't the right word- Was that even her son? Was that the boy she raised, the smiley little Gerard who put dandelions in his hair and cried every time an ant died. To be terribly honest, she had a feeling her son was long dead. The world had killed that boy long ago, and all that was left was the vessel, the shell of a personality long gone.

 

"I-I...I..." Gerard started, stuttering as his entire body quaked. "W-What had to be done. Fuck, Mom, he was gonna kill Mikey! What the fuck was I supposed to do? Why didn't you tell us he still had the gun? How much did he even drink? Wh-"

 

"GERARD ARTHUR WAY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She screamed, her voice shaking as she stared intensely at her son. "You just shot your own father in the chest. You're a f-fucking monster." She took a shaky breath, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "I'm calling the police."

 

"Mom, no!" Gerard exclaimed, grabbing for the phone but missing. And he met his mother's eyes, seeing the complete and utter horror, the sheer unrecognition, like he was some...stranger. He'd never liked his mother, so it shouldn't hurt. It did. What hurt even more, in fact, was when he turned to face Mikey, who had tears streaming down his face. He looked horrified as well, inching away from Gerard, who still held the gun firmly in his grasp. Everyone was in a massive state of shock. No one knew what to do. Except Gerard's anxiety. Apparently, it did, because it skyrocketed, words spewing out of his mouth.

 

"He was going to kill Mikey and I couldn't let that fucker do it. He's my brother- You're my brother, and I love you so much, and I would rather kill myself or let him kill me than let him hurt you. That's why I let him beat me every fucking time, but I just can't do this anymore. I can't I can't I can't I can't I-" At this point, Gerard was pacing around, gun still in hand, shoes getting covered in blood. "I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this anymore. I can't let him hurt you and I can't let him hurt Mom and I don't want to do this anymore. I don't wanna live anymore, I don't wanna breathe anymore, I just want to fucking-"

 

"Gerard." Mikey practically whispered, his voice coming out as more of a whimper than normal. It snapped him out of his little panicking session, and he looked up at his brother, his dark hair falling into his panic-filled eyes. "Get out."

 

"W-What?"

 

"I said, get out. I'm calling an ambulance. They'll arrest you if they find you."

 

"No! Mikey, you're going to save the man who threatened your life nearly every day? Y-"

 

"HE'S STILL FUCKING HUMAN, GERARD!" Mikey yelled, shutting his older brother right up. Mikey hadn't yelled in forever, and it took Gerard off guard. "He's human. He's an alcoholic asshole, sure, but he's our father. Did he deserve to die for being fucked up? Did he deserve to die because he drinks to forget?"

 

"Yes." Gerard said without missing a beat. Mikey shook his head, wiping away some of the tears on his cheeks.

 

"Just go, Gee. I love you, but please go."

 

Gerard's trench coat fluttered behind him as he grabbed the extra pack of ammunition sitting on the couch and sprinted out of the door, sirens picking up in the far-off distance as he ran, ran and ran.


	28. Epilogue

Frank screamed. He screamed and cried and cradled Gerard's shell of a body in his arms. He visited Gerard's house for his funeral. Mikey was dressed in all black, eyeliner already running like crazy. Pete was there, his arm around Mikey practically the whole time. Donna Way was nowhere to be found. Donald Way didn't get a funeral. Frank spent most of the funeral away from everyone, though. He didn't want to talk about it. Simple as that. About how much he loved Gerard, how they were still dating when he died, how they were soulmates. He didn't want to talk about how Gerard shot himself in front of Frank. He honestly didn't think he ever would. He spent most of the time in Gerard's room, as much as it hurt. He lay in Gerard's bed, trying to cry, but effectively feeling nothing. He looked over to Gerard's wall, frowning at the sheet that was taped across it. That didn't used to be up there. Frank got up to investigate, walking over and carefully taking it down. That prompted the waterworks of course, because he didn't expect to see himself all over Gerard's wall. Not in photographs, like in a stalk-ish way, but in drawings. It was every drawing of Frank that Gerard had ever done for that stupid art project, the one that Frank had never even fucking finished. There was easily fifty of them, all in different styles but all...him. All of them captured him so well. In some, he smiled. In some, he wept. In all, though, he could see just how much Gerard had truly loved him, and it hurt more than a thousand gunshot wounds. It hurt more than shooting himself in the head, he imagined. He'd never finished that stupid art project. He'd never even finished that fucking song he was working on for Gerard. Famous Last Words. What a cheesy title. But that didn't fucking matter anyway, becuase he'd never get to play it for Gerard. Gerard would never make fun of Frank's cheesy title either. Because he's dead. Well, better late than never. "Now I know that I can't make you stay. But where's your heart? But where's your heart?" Frank said softly, humming along to the tune in his head. He was missing a few words here and there, seeing as he couldn't remember all of it, but whatever. Gerard doesn't fucking care. Or at least Frank hoped. "So many bright lights that cast a shadow. But can I speak? Well, is it hard understanding I'm incomplete? A life that's so demanding, I get so weak. A love that's so demanding, I can't speak" Frank's heart skipped a few beats as he just gave in to the noise inside his head, full-on rocking out to the song. Why shouldn't he? Frank's entire fucking world just shot himself! Why shouldn't he dance like an idiot in his dead boyfriend's room? The world is over. Over. So why the fuck not? "I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone. Honey, if you stay, I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home!" "Frank?" Mikey called, walking into Gerard's room and giving the dancing boy a confused look. But Frank just laughed and grabbed Mikey by the hand to the center of the room. "Come on, man! Dance with me!" "There's no music playing." "Yeah, there is! Just listen to it in your head! Can't you hear it? It's fuckin' kick-ass!" He laughed, and a concerned Mikey wrapped him in a hug, the laughter dissolving into tears as sobs wracked Frank's body. And he whispered the words to himself, over and over because fuck, his mind was reeling and his heart just couldn't fucking take it anymore. "Fuck you." "I love you too."


End file.
